I feel a little bit bad

I was heading towards Blackfriars Bridge from Ludgate Hill last night with three of my friends riding behind me like little ducks when this anus of a man driving a top-down BMW sped past us with just a few inches to spare. Sucker of balls!, I thought and sped after him to (eloquently and calmly) tell him he was likely to hurt someone if he thought it was normal to drive like that.

I saw him queuing at the lights and started slowing down, and then remember skidding lightly to a stop as I began telling him off with the ol' High and Mighties, wagging my finger like a 1950's copper. But just as the words left my mouth there was fucking ridiculous cry of "Woooooooooo!" followed by a hard crunch as one of my friends slammed into me, knocking me off the road entirely. This was followed by a stack of other cyclists going "wooo wooo wooo!" and quickly unclipping and calling me a knob-end.

I recognised the embarrassment of this situation immediately, because The Anus in the BMW was smiling when I next looked up with this smug expression that said "bad luck". Fucker then sped off as we picked my friend up off the ground.

We must have looked like a right bunch of losers. Especially as the chap who stacked it broke his wrist. It went grey and floppy and weird. Ewww.

Anyways, this post is longer than it should be. So: not sure if there’s a moral to any of this, but the BMW driver probably still thinks cyclists are goofs and I should probably not stop so sharply in traffic, and people should maybe not ride up my bum-hole whilst looking at pretty girls on the pavement.

hahaha.

I feel a little bad that I laughed at this given your friend's broken wrist. Hope he heals quickly.

Donut by name, donut by nature! :-)

I've asked him to email me a picture because he got this fucking AWESOME cut on his arm as well. He looks like a pirate or cage fighter or something.

I've asked him to email me a picture because he got this AWESOME cut on his arm as well. He looks like a pirate or cage fighter or something.

Every cloud has a silver lining, eh?

BMW driver sounds like a right twat, as they always are, but I don't get it. Did you suddenly just jam on a front brake then. Why couldn't they stop in time behind you?

Haha, comedy crashes rule, sucks he broke his wrist though!
It reminds me of one time when I was a kid and had no concept of how stupid it was to go speeding along on the pavement, me and a friend hopped the curb to overtake a load of stationary traffic, we were flying along (downhill at the time), and some guy crossed the road with his dog, my mate swore rather loudly and skidded to a stop, I attempted to do the same, but ended up rear ending him and taking him and his bike down with me!
After flying across the pavement we landed in a crumpled heap on the floor with our bikes, about 6 ft from "man and dog", he chuckled to himself and carried on walking, muttering something about stupid teenagers lol.

There is nothing more painful than a fall from a high horse.

BMW driver sounds like a right twat, as they always are, but I don't get it. Did you suddenly just jam on a front brake then. Why couldn't they stop in time behind you?

I dunno. I did slow, then skidded slightly to stop by the passenger door, but my mate just slammed into me. Fuck knows what he was doing. He's quite embarrassed. And it was fucking hard slam too.

I also feel quite bad that I actually checked my back wheel wasn't buckled before I even looked at my mate tangled in his bike.

I've nearly been caught out a few times by people fixie-skidding in front of me, and i've seen people properly stack it in similar situations. There's something about it that never fails to take me by surprise, even if I'm expecting it. Like riding brakless fucks with the human mind in some inexplicable way.

As the great cyclist Samuel Beckett said about crashing: 'no matter. Try again. Fall again. Fall better.'

Who was it that broke there wrist then?

My mate, who went into my rear broke his wirst.

Lessons learned by a two of us here. Too bad he got fucked though.

So it wasn't any of the norths crew? You out later?

You all should hav been carrying walkie-talkies so you can communicate more effectively.
I always carry mine while cycling with friends plus we give each other cool handles like alpha, goose or wheely etc

@JD:I'm the ORIGINAL Donut. Not Duncan Donut. So no, it was me and my weird crew, not Norths.

@Zep: I think the only thing I would've heard in a walkie talkie would've been "Woooooooo!"

haha, true dat!

You must have looked like a right TiT reminds me of the cyclist who's shopping got caught in the front wheel and he went somersaulting over his handlebars not far from where mini cooper got busted.

comedy crash, shame to hear about your mate, but i have broken my wrists, elbows in foolish ways in the past. Just gotta laugh.

Yeah JD. Get it right FFS! The clue is in the avatar <

pride takes a bashing that is hard to live with bones will repair but you will have flashbacks of this accident for years to come and that smug smiling BMW owner will haunt you forever ;o)))

The driver really did have the face of a cunt. He looked like a really skinny, bald version of this guy:

I think the two donuts should have a scrabble-off to keep the name.