How do you get over someone you still love?

When they no longer love you ?

For twenty years this girl was my best friend and then she was my lover

And now she is gone

She won't even speak to me

I have absolutely no idea how to handle this or what to do

How do you deal with this kind of pain without alcohol or drugs

What is a broken hearted Buddha supposed to do

damn dude

Ride.

For-
ever.

whoa. dude, do whatever it takes to get through the next week. put all of her shit in a box and put it in a closet. take her number off your phone (write it down somewhere first). keep yourself busy. hang out with mates. drink a lot if you need to. try to be a bit positive though instead of spiralling downwards.

everyone's going to say this and it won't mean shit to you right now, but with time, you'll feel better.

Wait. "Time is a great healer" wouldn't havebecome such a persistent cliche if it wasn't true.

don't hit the bottle mate, that's a path I know you truly don't want to go down.

just try and take care of your self for awhile, you never know what's going to happen in the future.

Yeah, don't let yourself fall into the drink or drugs dependancy. It all seems a little excessive, but I know through seeing many people it's not a good idea.

Best thing is work hard, ride lots, get fit; keep yourself occupied. Do things that if she found out about would make her jealous, but don't try and tell her. All you need to do is try and lift your life game. The worst thing I always found I did was imagine her doing really well in all aspects of her life and looked at myself all lonely locked away from the world. Not a good place to be.

Also try poetry.

You've spoken about, or at least alluded to, drink, etc. in the past - and how you've worked to overcome it. Don't let this throw you down that road again, seriously.

Time does help, but there's no quick route to getting over this kind of pain, which I think you know. Being around good friends/family can be a real help. Don't take any rash decisions about anything right now, just see if there are people you can be with to carry you through it for a while.

You have my sympathy, it's shit and feels so unfair. But it will be OK. Someone very close to me went through an utterly gut-wrenching split years ago. I sat with her in her kitchen one day for what felt like hours, both of us hardly saying anything. She was looking out of the window at the blossom on the trees in the garden and just turned to me and said "the next time those trees go into blossom, I know I'll be much, much better" - and she was.

I'm sorry I can't offer more, but keep off the hard stuff if you can

This is the thing - once upon the time I'd have drowned my sorrows - now I just got to suck it up and grin and bare it - the hardest part is going back and thinking about all those little signs that things weren't quite right - or the times she said something and that I didn't act on it - I guess we all get a bit complacent - I thought were going to last forever - I really thought that we were that good - I am in total shock - and the pain is just unrelenting

dude, it's not your fault -- it's no one's fault. things just happen sometimes. you couldn't have done anything differently than you did or you wouldn't be living your life. it's hard to accept, but sometimes things aren't meant to be.

go for a ride, but make sure you ride safely, just zone out and ride you will feel better.

time will heal.

dude, it's not your fault -- it's no one's fault. things just happen sometimes. you couldn't have done anything differently than you did or you wouldn't be living your life. it's hard to accept, but sometimes things aren't meant to be.

This is the last thing she wrote :

I edited this because I can't leave a personnel correspondance on the interweb

+++++I think I am about to BLUB ++++++

Mate, this is horrible, really. How long ago did this happen? As previous posts have said, time will really make things better. The first few weeks are the hardest, but each week things will start to become easier.

Can you take a holiday? The time and distance away from your current situaution will help wonders.

remember what I said to you

solace will never be found in a bottle, you're much stronger than that.

hugs C x

She doesn't seem to give a reason, maybe chase her up on it, i don't think you'll find any kind of closure until you know mate. Come over to London and meet a few people who only know you thru here but really care about you and consider you a good friend.

This is just about the only public place in the world I'd share my feelings

This place has soul

I might just take you up on a offer of a trip to London

keep yourself busy

is there an activity you have wanted to try (sporting, yoga, pottery)?it will help fill your time, give you new things to occupy your mind (i loathe that whole brek up thing of ruminating as to whynd where it went wrong) and you may meet new people.

losing someone close like this makes me feel like I have been eviscerated, you have my sympathy but being a heartless forum fucker all I can offer is HTFU.

sadly it is all cliché - time is the healer, plenty of different fish in the sea but right now probably none of this helps.

as suggested earlier keep yourself busy rather than trying to understand what has happened.

I'm not being glib: go and have some uncomplicated sex with someone else. Try not to cry afterwards. Repeat this a number of times with different people. The urge to cry will lessen each time. And the biggest advantage is that eventually you'll stand a good chance of meeting someone new who you'll come to care about deeply.

Not sure about the uncomplicated sex bit. Early morning cycles and swims in what is turning out to be a fantastic London spring experiencing the city waking up (Parliament Hill is good) and realising this shit is happening all over town and its going to be all right.

See you at the top.....

experiences like this toughen and harden you up. BMMF is spot on. Dull the pain with a dilution factor of a few night stands ftw.

go on a bender and a fuckathon, not really the advice you want to hear but it made me feel better.........

The only way to get over a woman is by getting under a new one.

It's crude advice but...

Destroy as a much as you can and stay far from people who want to talk with you about the issue.

For the moment you have just forget and find new interest....it will be tough