Top tip

A friend of mine with a load of street cred recently gave me some good advice.
I thought it might be worth sharing.
If you're a cyclist, make sure you've got enough air in your tyres.
Hope this helps.

Never wipe your arse on a broken bottle. That's a useful one too.

Never pitch your tent below the high tide mark.

Never push your gran while she's shaving.

Never Knock your granny while she's shaving.

Fuck, that's creepy.

Oh. Never ride a bike in the dark with inadequate lighting...

If it looks like shit, smells like shit and tastes like shit, get a second opinion.

Fuck, that's creepy.

Hehe!

Dont take drugs and stay at home.

If you're asked about buying shares in Barclays it's too late to make a profit.

Don't bet on Everton winning anything this season.
Or next.
repeat til fade

Or Oldham, obviously...

Feeling mischievous are we?

Feeling mischievous are we?

Must be catching. I saw what you did In the sweary thread...

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Don't vote Conservative.
Ever.

Never ask your mother-in-law if she'd like meat for dinner by showing her this picture.

chelsea suck cock

You've really got a grip on this semiotics issue, haven't you? It's as if Umberto Eco was posting.

platini also sucks cock

platini also sucks cock

Tsk. You intellectuals...

one has been called a genius actually...

Is that due to the ability to turn in to a bat?

one has been called a genius actually...

I think it's great that you help out the even-more 'challenged'.
It must be gratifying that they are so appreciative:..