Advice For New Members - Updated

Welcome to the LFGSS. It may not always seem like it but the forum is actually a friendly place full of kind and helpful people. I am relatively new here myself and have had a really good time so I've written this to help you get the most from the forum and to stop you getting off on the wrong foot.

1. Use the Search function. Most technical questions will already have been asked and answered so use the search and then you can ask more specific questions.
   
2. Don't start by asking "What kind of fixed/single speed bike should I get?". See above.
   
3. NEVER make your first five posts the "I am only writing this to get to five posts" variety. You will be insulted and then banned.
   
4. Don't get upset if you get a bit of abuse. Take it as a joke, don't be defensive or offended.
   
5. Look at the Members List. It's not a good idea to get in to a fight with people who have been here a long time in your first weeks here.
   
6. Don't make your first posts an expression of your prejudices.
   
7. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't take yourself too seriously. A bit of self-mockery will help you no end.
   
8. Be yourself. For example, I am a complete arse but other members know that and are quite accepting.
   
9. Try not to use the word 'Fixie'. It annoys some members, don't quite know why but it does so you may as well save yourself the grief.
   
10. Never take advice off an ageing courier.
    
11. Try and place your post in the most relevant section; so advice on particular makes or styles of frames, for example should go in bikes and bits rather than general. Questions about your love life should be sent directly to Hippy.
    

Repost ;p

1. Don't post "Advice For New Members" threads in general under private :)
   

'Private' bit is the first place new members will snoop around, no?
Sticky this thread.

1. call murtle turtle
   

Yeh, it is a sort of repost. In trying to edit the first version I managed to delete the list.
None of these bloody newbies read it anyway, don't know why I bother sometimes I really don't you try and help and what do you get well screw them I say I've got better things to do got to meet Tynan in 2 hours and I haven't washed my hair yet and I don't know what to wear I should have done a laundry last night but I was tired and I'm not a well man sometimes I don't think I'll see another Xmas fat lot you all care I could be dead nobody would notice, I don't know what this world's coming to I really dont....

yet again, Will appears to be doing that "not working" thing

those packages won't get there by themselves, you know

1. never, ever, ever admit you're from wigan!
   

I'll have you know I am on a sickie.

I'll have you know I am on a sickie.

me too..

and Bring..

maybe we ought to have a national HTFU Day.

Dont give tynan the lurgee please - he's all we have!
Sit down, have some tea / coffee / juice, and stop derailing your own useful thread.

Hoorah for sickies!

Also, you've joined the elite GA2G list club :)

1. call dogsballs anyone of the following: dingoBollox, dopeyBollox, nobollox, twat etc.
   
   

.

1. rub boobies belly for god luck!
   

Jeez - sickies? Get to work, you lot. The economy won't sort itself out while you're huddled up under a duvet watching Cash in the Attic and drinking cup-a-soup or Beechams lemon-flavoured hot man-flu drink. Britain needs you to work and pay taxes and shit to make it Great again. Now HTFU and get out there.

1. rub boobies belly for god luck!
   
   

I know someone else who'd be up for it, can't remember his name though, hmmmm....

1. touch shinscars face!
   

me too..

and Bring..

maybe we ought to have a national HTFU Day.

Fuck you, I work evenings & Saturdays (and afternoons too, as of next week).

Have none of you heard of Paracetemol? PTFU, you cunts.

Fuck you, I work evenings & Saturdays (and afternoons too, as of next week).

Have none of you heard of** Paracetemol?** PTFU, you cunts.

I know they never have any in the pet shop....

I haven't got flu.

I have pulled a muscle in the neck/shoulder area. 400mg of Ibuprofen won't even touch it.

But I'm still doing things, I've HTFU

400mg of Ibuprofen won't touch anything. You need 1200mg or even 1600mg.

You need to SHMGOITFU.

I know they never have any in the pet shop....

I thought it was the jungle? I'm pretty sure it wasn't the drum 'n' bass...

me too..

and Bring..

maybe we ought to have a national HTFU Day.

Holy shit.. it's an epidemic..
I'm "working from home" today with a funking stonking hangover.

P.S.
Repost.
HTFU
Fixie
Do a skid
Arrospok

Rule n+1: Don't direct friendly banter towards Platini until friendship has been confirmed, in writing.

Rule n+1: Don't direct friendly banter towards Platini until friendship has been confirmed, in writing.

Another bit of advice: no-one likes a whinger.