How to answer the question, "where's yer brakes?"

Basically, I'm sick to death of having to clean my ears of the words "Oi mate! Where's yer brakes?", left there like crumpled packets of lambert & butler by morons I have the misfortune to encounter, currently at the astonishing rate of about 3-4 per day.

I ride brakeless, and I like it, but for reasons that can't be expressed in any kind of witty one-liner.

So, I ask the forum:

What's your best response to the question, "where's yer brakes?".

Sam

'i'm too cool for brakes - it's a fashion thing'

"In my drivetrain, you peasant"

"here, on my handlebars"

what do i need to stop for..

'not stopping, just passing through'

So, I ask the forum:

What's your best response to the question, "where's yer brakes?".

Sam

I've heard you're supposed to pull the devil horns with your hand, get right in the person's face and scream at the top of your voice in an American accent:

"NO BRAKES, Motherfucker!!"

"traded it in for a pair of skinny jeans and a keffiyeh"

"who needs brakes when you've got cool"

I always simply reply 'there aren't any, I use my legs'. Always leave them looking totally confused

The other I always get is 'How do you stop then?'

'I don't' usually works ;-)

My brakes are invisible. True.

I carry around a lectern, flipchart and overhead projector, and pre-prepared diagrams explaining in layman's terms the concepts of fixed drivetrain and resistance braking.

It does take a while to explain though, so I now carry round a full air conditioned lecture theatre complete with seating for 150.

Seems to do the job...

I've heard you're supposed to pull the devil horns with your hand, get right in the person's face and scream at the top of your voice in an American accent:

"NO BRAKES, Motherfucker!!"

Now everyone practice their American accent.

Repeat after McManus!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yat1Vc9tIkw

That's some nice comittment to educating the masses Mooks, amazed you have time to ride!

Do u pack it into paniers or just sling it over your shoulder for ease?

"up my arse!"

"with my brain!"

That's some nice comittment to educating the masses Mooks, amazed you have time to ride!

Do u pack it into paniers or just sling it over your shoulder for ease?

It's a mixture of paniers, a trailer and a small but well trained midget road crew. It slows me down a little but the satisfaction of helping just one person understand mechanical physics makes it all worth it.

By pointing to the lever and caliper, to one wise ass on Saturday.

Ped: Wheres you brakes?

Bikey: Wheres yours?

Ped: Huh?

Bikey: how do you stop walking if you dont have brakes?

Ped: I just stop my legs...

Bikey: Exactly.

Ped: Wheres you brakes?

Bikey: Wheres yours?

Ped: Huh?

Bikey: how do you stop walking if you dont have brakes?

Ped: I just stop my legs...

Bikey: Exactly.

I think DFP wins

he must be riding in a parade for that dialogue..

does that make it a witty 6 liner?

Where the fuck are you riding to be asked 3-4 times a day where your brakes are?

Are you wheeliing through some northern shopping centre or something??

That's for me to know and you to fuck off.

"I trust in God to stop me."
That'll make them scarper sharpish.