This morning's commute and other commuting stories

^^ So much win you are awarded the Winner of Win Award!

Great outcome although such a shame that it has to rely on a truck full of big friends to sort this shites out...

Scilly repped. Off to have a drink now.

Brilliant. It always amazes me the lengths and risks drivers will take just to get in front of cyclists

Followed 100 horses along the Embankment this morning. Corking, blocking traffic, red light jumping. Bloody military.

don't forget pooping

don't forget pooping
Usual morning commute, no?

http://road.cc/content/news/101486-new-forest-authority-claims-cyclists-poo-village-greens

^The genesis of the phrase 'a bunch of shits'?

25mph headwind on the pan-flat coastal commute today, what's the betting on a change of wind direction for the return journey?

That was a lovely ride to work, driving rain, head wind and fairly cold. Delayed by loons in their tin boxes so I could sit in the rain for longer getting colder because I was unable to move. First ride for a week - loved every second of it :))

@Scilly Suffolk: warms my cockles

As an aside I have often wondered what the maximum number of fluids / solids a human can emit from their body at the same time. Blood, sweat and tears whilst shitting and pissing has got to be possible if you put together the preparation. If you managed to spit and blow your nose at the same time you'd be damn good. If you switched pissing for ejaculation you really are special.

You bin Stigmata'd

The dibble were out in force this morning on my ride in. First off, they blocked Putney Bridge for 5 mins whilst appearing to have a word with a cyclist. 5 minutes after that, the same car stopped a RLJ, blocking the New Kings Road nicely again....

Was very early on my way in, saw another chap with an upturned Carerra with the back wheel off. He was a bit clueless trying to fix his puncture so did it for him #noditforward

Rode past a gentleman on the OKR last night whose voluminous dreads were of such length that he had not only tucked them down the back of his jacket, from whence they protruded like a hairy tail, but had also separated them and tucked them into his respective back pockets.

First dry(ish) day for ages and the road into the village is still 'closed' due to being washed away. Sunshine, scenery, and for several miles the only non-bike noise came from buzzards calling. Days like this remind me why I moved out of town.

Slippery and greasy roads out there today, I came a cropper in Bermondsey earlier so watch out for paint, drain covers, setts etc.

Shoulder is going to hurt tomorrow, bit worried about the bike but I'll see what LBS says.

I almost rode into a woman getting off a bus into the cycle lane, at this location: https://maps.google.co.uk/?ll=51.503073,-0.104603&spn=0.000947,0.001843&t=m&z=19&layer=c&cbll=51.503154,-0.1046&panoid=Q4q1TPM1ceInXej2MDutYQ&cbp=12,341.45,,0,16.77

She was very annoyed at me for being in this shitty cycle lane. For extra Monday morning fun, use the normal map view to see if you can find where the actual bus stop is!

(NB: the driver let about a billion passengers out long before I got to him and left his doors open for some time. I was already going very slowly, expecting somebody else to jump out, and she STILL took me by surprise because I let my guard down right as I got to the doors of the bus. Right when she jumped out at me. Almost like she was waiting for me. Gah.)

Slippery and greasy roads out there today, I came a cropper in Bermondsey earlier so watch out for paint, drain covers, setts etc.

Shoulder is going to hurt tomorrow, bit worried about the bike but I'll see what LBS says.

I also got a bit of wheelspin on a manhole cover this morning while being wobbled into by a madwoman on a mixte. That greasy sliding sensation always makes me feel a bit ill. Hope the shoulder is just bruised!

That greasy sliding sensation always makes me feel a bit ill.

Fnar.

I also got a bit of wheelspin on a manhole cover this morning while being wobbled into by a madwoman on a mixte. That greasy sliding sensation always makes me feel a bit ill. Hope the shoulder is just bruised!

Yeah it's a rotten feeling in that split second when you realise you're not going to pull it back. Just bruising and scrapes I think - my cheapass leather mitts and Torm jersey performed admirably, 9/10 would crash again

Sounds like you bounced back up, keep on spinning.

Was behind a woman on a charge plug on the way to work who, for some reason, found it impossible to go for more than 2 minutes without forcefully clearing mucus from her nose all over the floor. Proper grim. No foot retention either. Bah!

I almost rode into a woman getting off a bus into the cycle lane, at this location: https://maps.google.co.uk/?ll=51.503073,-0.104603&spn=0.000947,0.001843&t=m&z=19&layer=c&cbll=51.503154,-0.1046&panoid=Q4q1TPM1ceInXej2MDutYQ&cbp=12,341.45,,0,16.77

She was very annoyed at me for being in this shitty cycle lane. For extra Monday morning fun, use the normal map view to see if you can find where the actual bus stop is!

(NB: the driver let about a billion passengers out long before I got to him and left his doors open for some time. I was already going very slowly, expecting somebody else to jump out, and she STILL took me by surprise because I let my guard down right as I got to the doors of the bus. Right when she jumped out at me. Almost like she was waiting for me. Gah.)

Round the corner from my office, next bus stop isn't 'til after the lights. What do I win?

You win yet another angry pedestrian in your immediate area who hates cyclists.

Sorry :(