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@tricitybendix
I did a Kentury. My first in a very long time, as I spent all my spare time in 2013 going to Homebase and complaining about the weather. It wasn't hugely interesting, but seeing as it's such an unusual occurrence I thought I'd do a ride report.
I've tried to go riding a couple of times this year but keep bailing on mileage due to being slow and fat and finding it difficult - plan to do 60 and I'll do 40, plan to do 80 and I'll do 65 - so this time I thought I'd plan to do 130 and see what happened.
I set off towards Kent via Chislehurst, where I was overtaken by a bunch of slevless who I believe refer to themselves as the Greenwich Tritons (told you I was slow and fat). I sabotaged their ride by telling the last one in the pack their brake QR was undone (it was, so it was only slightly malicious) and skipped off to play on the A224, thinking I'd seen the last of them.
Not so! I saw them again riding away from a massive flood at the top of Polhill, advising me to turn around as it was impassable. "We'll see about that!" I thought to myself, and plunged in. It wasn't impassable, but it was fairly unpleasant.
By Sevenoaks my feet were starting to hurt (I hadn't brought overshoes because I am an idiot) so I naively went to a bike shop, bought another pair of socks and made a spectacle of myself changing into them while prospective bike buyers looked on in alarm. Obviously this was an utterly ridiculous idea because by the time I'd got down Tonbridge way I'd ridden through another three floods, one hub-deep, and had soaked feet again. At Beltring a fellow cyclist advised me not to take the right turn. I thanked him for his advice and ignored it, figuring I was wet anyway so it wouldn't make much difference.
Claygate Lane was entirely underwater; I hopped on the pavement for a bit until a vehicle recovery man who was hauling a stranded Tesco delivery van out of the flood informed me that there was no point in me trying to continue, as everyone else on a bike who'd tried had turned around. I saw that as a challenge, and continued my ride-swim into water above my knees. At some point a man in a pick-up truck asked if I wanted a lift, which I decided it would be foolish to decline, although it was a bit late by that point and I dripped all over his car.
Post Claygate the flooding wasn't so bad and bar a few shallower lakes (one came with a woman in a Volvo who wasn't sure whether she dared attempt it; I told her I'd go first so she could see how deep it was) everything became a bit less eventful and I actually started making some progress. Then it started pouring with rain, followed by hail, followed by me having a minor tantrum, until I saw a rainbow and then remembered that eating usually stops my tantrums, so I stopped at Biddenden for an egg and cress sandwich and a nutritional can of Dr Pepper. The sun came out again after that, so I continued on my merry way to Tenderden, where the rain got so bad I had another tantrum and turned around. The next 25 miles were rain soaked and miserable, until I stopped off at a petrol station for a Boost and some map consultancy to try and find a route which avoided the worst of the floods.
Nothing else really happened, to be honest; the floods were probably the most exciting part of the ride. All in all though it was brutally difficult and I fell asleep in the bath after I got home. Still, longest ride (bar touring) in a year or so (110 miles), so it'll do. I do hope it gets easier, though.