Football

£40m is being mentioned as a provisional transfer fee for Mata. I can't help but think it's a stupid idea to make one of your direct competitors stronger and that it'll bite us in the arse.

United won't know what to do with him or get the best out of him. They have sunk so low that this is actually a backward step for Mata where a couple of years ago it would have been a great move.

Moyes will probably injure him within a fortnight anyhow
Boat, paddle spring to mind