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@oxpoleon
I have three, all unrelated, so I'll post one now and save the others.
Cycling fail #1:
A long time ago, as a kid, I was riding my bike down a hill in a forest, pretty quickly. At the bottom of this hill, packed with leaves so it was invisible, was a drainage ditch, whose diameter was approximately that of my front wheel.
I don't remember much after that, but those behind me told me that the wheel, quite predictably, jammed in the ditch, flung me over the handlebars, flat onto my face, before the bike proceeded to fling itself up in the air a metre or two, do a flip and come crashing down on top of my back.
Miraculously, I was fine, but my helmet was skewered on the end of the handlebars, and the forks were bent right back.