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@Brommers
Bingo! OK, the Audi A3 driver who tailgated me all the way along the M11 diversion through Harlow/BishStort last night had a silver car, but otherwise he/she ticked all the boxes.
I'm starting to wonder whether Audi drivers are actively trying to live up to their stereotype, or whether there is a cuntitude test you have to pass before you're allowed to buy one.