Lights

But... is there anything that prohibits a push bike from having such an insane amount of lighting?

ECE Regs stipulate a maximum for vehicles.

This bloke discusses the regs.

Maximum authorized total high-beam peak intensity per a vehicle under ECE regulations is 225,000 candela at 12 Volts

I know of nothing specifically relating to bicycles, but it's possible a bicycle may fall under the definition of vehicle for the purposes if this (by inference, through some tortuous links through primary and secondary legislation).