"Oh Shit" moments...

I met my brother outside Liverpool Street and sat down for a drink outside the Wetherspods. A manky old pigeon flapped down next to me so I twatted it with the Evening Standard straight into the side of the head of the bloke sitting opposite. I apologised and apologised but he wasn't smiling.

Bwaaahaaaahahahaaaaa! Ace! I don't know whether you should be done for cruelty to animals or assault (or possibly reading the Evening Standard).