Is it time to start calling out bad cyclists?

So much rage!

Leave 'im 'ovis, ee's not werf it.

Did you shake your fist at him? Nothing beats an old fashioned fist shaking!

Oh that glorious moment when the red mist falls and the previous articulate being becomes enraged by blatant ineptitude. Nodders draw it out of you like a vampire, I think they actually breed on it - Or suck it through straws? Over to you hats........

i called out a twat who had only a minute earlier undertaken me on Jamaica road. Note: He had already undertaken me minutes earlier so he was already on my "watch out retard ahead" radar.

So he's in the bus lane riding primary, fine, good for him. I'm riding faster so I move to overtake on his right. As I am passing him, he starts to veer into me without looking over his shoulder or any prior indication. He comes perilously close to bumping into me so I turned to him and say:

Me: Do you mind?
Him: stupid look on his face What?
Me: You're steering right into me
Him: Because I'm turning right!
Me: I'm in the middle of overtaking you
Him: You shouldn't be overtaking me, I'm turning right at those lights over there
Me: Did you ever just maybe consider checking over your shoulder or indicating that you wish to turn right?
Him: You should have passed me on my left!
Me: Thats called undertaking, you shouldn't be doing that.
Him: You don't know anything.
Me: You're the reason my mum once told me to assume the world is full of fucking retards
Him: Fuck off you cock! You should learn the rules of the road before you cycle on them!
Me: Piss off you fucking twat!!! ROOOAAARRRR

So I lost my temper a little bit at the end.

This situation is solved simply by shouting 'STRAIGHT LINES DICKHEAD' from behind.

The final straw of the evening was actually one of those straws that widen out at the end into a little spoon so that you can scoop up all the bits at the bottom of your drink. I like those straws.

What? Do these straws exist? How have I never seen one of these? I need one of these

They're shit. They're literally the worst straws in all of existence, even worse than the ones that came with those frozen krusha kup things that would always split exactly down the middle so you couldn't drink out of them. I love Hats dearly but she is wronger than Jimmy Savile humping a disabled donkey while wearing a Peter Lorre mask on this.

If you want to try them out for yourself then you will find them in branches of Costa Coffee if you ask them for a cooler or a smoothie or something.

^ Very much this.

They do not function correctly as a straw. They do not function correctly as a spoon.

They're so detested in Italy that there is currently a bill going through parliament to have them banned : http://tinyurl.com/nfdzegl

i called out a twat who had only a minute earlier undertaken me on Jamaica road. Note: He had already undertaken me minutes earlier so he was already on my "watch out retard ahead" radar.

So he's in the bus lane riding primary, fine, good for him. I'm riding faster so I move to overtake on his right. As I am passing him, he starts to veer into me without looking over his shoulder or any prior indication. He comes perilously close to bumping into me so I turned to him and say:

Me: Do you mind?
Him: stupid look on his face What?
Me: You're steering right into me
Him: Because I'm turning right!
Me: I'm in the middle of overtaking you
Him: You shouldn't be overtaking me, I'm turning right at those lights over there
Me: Did you ever just maybe consider checking over your shoulder or indicating that you wish to turn right?
Him: You should have passed me on my left!
Me: Thats called undertaking, you shouldn't be doing that.
Him: You don't know anything.
Me: You're the reason my mum once told me to assume the world is full of fucking retards
Him: Fuck off you cock! You should learn the rules of the road before you cycle on them!
Me: Piss off you fucking twat!!! ROOOAAARRRR

So I lost my temper a little bit at the end.

Probably the same bellend who crashed into the back of me on Jamaica Rd yesterday snapping my rear mudguard.... Wasn't a silver mountain bike was it?

Light blue fixie skidder having shreds ripped out of him by ped at crossing at London Bridge this morning, you were riding like a dick.

Two nights ago, I was waiting at the lights on the south side of London Bridge by the junction with Tooley Street.

The lights turned green and the motorbikes to my right went haring off … just as high-viz nodder female comes flying out of the end of Tooley Street.

She ends up stuck in the middle of the south-bound lane with traffic going both sides of her, with her shouting at them all as if they were in the wrong.

The bikers weren't hanging around but they definitely didn't go before green. They could have given the nodder a bit more slack but, you know what, f*** her - maybe next time she won't do such a dumb ass manoeuvre. (And make me have to think hard about how to spell manoeuvre.)

I very eloquently shouted as I went past, "You're the stupid feck-wit who jumped the red light." Not sure she heard me, though, as I think she was a little stressed at that point.

had someone overtake me at speed twice along cs7 this morning both times as i was pulling around a bus with a row of cars in the lane next to us. I'd slowed to match the speed of the (moving) traffic passing the bus so i could merge in between the cars passing the bus, he felt using the brake was unwarranted and tried to slide through the tiny gap between me and the cars.

the first time I thought 'twat' and got on with it. the second time I was actually pulling out to take the lane at the shitty northbound section outside clapham common and he pulled the same shit again and then cut across my front wheel and I lost my rag and started ranting at him. he was oblivious to what he'd done wrong but apologised then the red mist evaporated and I caught up to him and said sorry for shouting and explained what he'd done and why it was dangerous for both of us. i doubt he took it on board but we agreed no hard feelings and went about our days putting the drama behind us.

so frustrating though. I'd left early to try and avoid the pillockton and instead hit the fucking cat 6 time trial instead.

time to set my alarm even earlier. :(

They're shit. They're literally the worst straws in all of existence, even worse than the ones that came with those frozen krusha kup things that would always split exactly down the middle so you couldn't drink out of them. I love Hats dearly but she is wronger than Jimmy Savile humping a disabled donkey while wearing a Peter Lorre mask on this.

If you want to try them out for yourself then you will find them in branches of Costa Coffee if you ask them for a cooler or a smoothie or something.

Bothwell, my dear, I never thought I'd say this but I completely disagree with you. How else are you meant to eat milkshakes with bits in? You use the spoon bit to scoop up the marshmallows/mini oreos/rolos/whatever and then the straw to drink the drink.

I think we need an arm wrestle...

but when you get to the end of the drink, the straw doesn't work as a straw because it only has one side to it, so you can't slurp the last bit of drink out of the bottom of the cup.

^exactly

hats you are wronger than the word i just used to describe how wrong you are.

but when you get to the end of the drink, the straw doesn't work as a straw because it only has one side to it, so you can't slurp the last bit of drink out of the bottom of the cup.

^exactly

hats you are wronger than the word i just used to describe how wrong you are.

At this point you bend the spoon bit over so that the straw bit reaches the bottom of the cup. Buy me a milkshake and I'll show you.

no deal, we'll have to hang around a shop that does the straws until someone inevitably leaves the last 1/5th because of the crappy straw and you can make your case by finishing their drink for them.

"Two nights ago, I was waiting at the lights on the south side of London Bridge by the junction with Tooley Street.

The lights turned green and the motorbikes to my right went haring off … just as high-viz nodder female comes flying out of the end of Tooley Street.

She ends up stuck in the middle of the south-bound lane with traffic going both sides of her, with her shouting at them all as if they were in the wrong.

The bikers weren't hanging around but they definitely didn't go before green. They could have given the nodder a bit more slack but, you know what, f*** her - maybe next time she won't do such a dumb ass manoeuvre. (And make me have to think hard about how to spell manoeuvre.)

I very eloquently shouted as I went past, "You're the stupid feck-wit who jumped the red light." Not sure she heard me, though, as I think she was a little stressed at that point."

Green light is merely an indication of right of way. It doesn't exempt you from looking for other traffic, including fuckwits jumping the red light, before manoeuvring... Mind you, I'm not in any way trying to justify her actions, but like you said, the bikers could (and should) have given the nodder a bit more slack.

Many bikers, and cyclists for that matter, are killed every year believing blindly in their right of way. Unfortunately right of way doesn't matter shit when negotiating a ten-ton truck operated by an idiot. Well done for calling her out though, hopefully she heard you, and hopefully the whole experience will make her think twice before taking unnecessary chances in the future.

If you have to use a spoon to eat your drink can it still be a drink? If you have to use a utensil to eat it then surely it's food? Although I suppose you could drink a liquid from a spoon but if you're scooping stuff up then it's got to be fairly solid and therefore food not drink. Although it could be thought of as a suspension of food in drink, but then at what concentration does one switch from drinking to eating? This is why I avoid soup, it's all far too confusing.

Has anyone else seen that mental guy with a helmet cam, shin guards, etc. who mercilessly rings his bell at everyone?

Rides near Bank.

sounds a bit like the guy I would see riding a recumbent along Southbank furiously ringing his bell at the large groups of tourists that were in his way.

That is why it's not right of way, but priority. Believing in having the right of way makes people blindly do stupid shit.

Has anyone else seen that mental guy with a helmet cam, shin guards, etc. who mercilessly rings his bell at everyone?

Rides near Bank.

Does he have an especially loud horn-bell? I think this bezza is around Haggerston too ...or maybe there are two. Oh hell.

I've seen this a few times recently. The lights go green and everyone just rings their bell and starts pedalling regardless of whether the pedestrians have cleared the junction or not. Also saw a nice example in soho just at that time of the evening when the pavements and roads are packed with people. A bloke with an annoying two-tone bell trying was just riding at the crowds tinging his bell as if it would magically make them part like the red sea. Pretty twattish.

Is it national ride like a dick day? This morning had a lot of lemmings shooting up the inside of left-turning buses, struggling desperately to get to the fronts of queues, cutting up peds etc.

I despair, etc.

This situation is solved simply by shouting 'STRAIGHT LINES DICKHEAD' from behind.

I think I will work on my balancing skills and give this one a go next time.

Without getting thrown off a bridge obv.