Bored

Are you still bored? I'm only ever bored at work, even then it's only when bosses are watching.
I can always think of something to do.

Here's a list.

1. Write a story.
   
2. Imagine you are really big and everyone else is really small. Closing one eye helps. It flattens perspective. Now make 'KSHH... KSHH... KSHH ' noises with your mouth to mimic your huge footsteps as your stride around destroying the office
   
3. Decide who you'd kill first and why. This can take a whole day.
   
4. Hold your breath. Time yourself. A great office challenge.
   
5. Do Bruce Lee exercises, where you tense various limbs then use your body to fight against the movement. You just twitch a lot and grunt. Trust me, no-one notices.
   
6. Wank in your pocket. Office orgasm is so illicit.
   
7. Copy sensitive material to a USB. You know you've always intended to do it. Now's the time.
   
8. Go for a walk and mess with every thermostat you find. Top japes to be had here.
   
9. Steal things. Anything. Staples, cereal, pot plants, cardigans. Wear other peoples clothing and swagger around in it. Place the nicest pot plants around your desk and appear absolutely outraged when you are timidly accused of stealing.
   
10. Set off afire alarm. Only do this when it's freezing or it's raining. When it is warm you have a jolly carnival atmosphere. That is not good. Wear a huge coat, bring snacks, set off the fire alarm.
    
    

Just ten for now. Enjoy!