This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Amazing amount of stupid, selfish, self-destructive behaviour on the road today. Black cabs buzzing past or taking up the whole road coming the other way on narrow roads, cyclists going through road works or racing on their commute or undertaking, pedestrians walking down the middle of roads (seriously) then veering off in one direction or another, cars going through reds then turning without indicating. I don't mind busy, but on days like today I just despair of humanity. Is it the schools going back or something?

^ you ride through tooting and ICM£5

idiot on a shitty code bike RLJing at an intersection nearly collided with me as i was proceeding through the green light. seriously, pick your fucking RLJ opportunities better.
then later
old man in wheelchair in the green cycle lane, going quite slowly.

I still have no idea why I thought adding Newlands Corner and Box Hill on fixed into this mornings commute was a good idea.

But the view from the top of both was nice with the morning mist in the valleys below. Falling off on the top of Box Hill while clipped in did amuse me though.

Riding up a hill by the side of a park yesterday, breathing hard, going slow.

An old guy is sat on a stone wall, reading a paper in the sunshine.

Another old guy creeps up behind him, closer, closer on a mobility scooter.

He's grinning.

He reaches back, slides a walking stick from behind the scooter...

...then jabs the first old guy in the back!

"STICK 'EM UP!" he shouts.

First old guy nearly dies of fright.

I nearly fall off my bike laughing, mobility bandit winks and laughs too.

Then I'm gone.

Luci repped.

Everything was looking rosy this morning, sun was out, bike was lubed, tyres pumped, silent running.

I see a pretty woman walking to work with her skirt tucked into her panties, I quietly ride along side the pavement, cough and make eye contact with her as I let her know about the wardrobe malfunction, she blushes, thanks me and re-arranges herself as I ride on, karma++.

Then, as I coast around a corner a few roads along my commute it all goes wrong, I spot an oncoming car a little late and lose the back wheel under me, land hard on my hip and forearm and bike lock goes scooting into the middle of the junction as two cars stop and stare at me like I'm a total mong.

I pick myself up and collect my shit, and on I go after apologising and assuring the cars I'm 'ok, was just going a little too fast'.

Five minutes later I mysteriously manage to fall off again after clearing a straight-over-junction, I get up having almost styled it out and landing on one wrist, only to completely stack it again in front of a ped who decides to stand right in front of me.
This time about five peds are looking on wondering how a cyclist can fall over whilst going in a straight line, lots of sympathetic looks and "are you ok?" (mentally?).

Bit worried about the ride home tonight, and not likely to get any PB's on Strava for a while.

A cosmic reminder that a bit of due care and attention goes a long way....

Leaner ^

Leaner ^

?

Ahha, a golden rule perhaps?
It probably was a little too much force for a couple of 1inch contact points to keep a grip with

WTF!
Not much more to say about this mornings ride in. Anyone find this to be the case today?

Mine was all peace and love until the bloke in the black BMW started screaming "I'LL RUN YOU OVER, I'LL RUN YOU OVER!!" at an apparently blameless roadie.

Apart from that.........

'Back to School Monday' - gridlock, school run, arsey motorists and drizzle.

Only 6 weeks until the clocks change and we can get properly miserable.

Yup, nice and oily roads plus everyone out for them selves.....

Taxi cuts me up turning left through a cycle lane (I write this like a cycle lane in London matters to drivers) without indicating. No great dramas / par for the course etc... The ensuing confrontation is what amused me most as apparently it was not only my fault, but couldn't possibly be the fault of the taxi as he is "a professional driver" ... Probably the most amusing excuse i've had.

I had a guy on a motorcycle shout at me that he'd been riding for 30 years and was a motorcycle instructor, so it was impossible that he'd almost hit me, and that I'd had to evade him as he pulled across into the lane.

Clearly I must have imagined it.

No towel at work today. Either nicked (bloody unlikely) or I left it in a shower cubicle and the cleaner removed it. It took less paper towels to dry my mass than you might expect.

I feel sick.

^^was it the brand with the elephant on the front?

Plenty Juan sheet and the juicy lady - SCA - YouTube

"Hmm, something feels wrong. Bollocks, forgot my helmet."

I was too far to go back, but still had 10 miles to go, including the OKR.

Fuck that. I took Route 22 instead.

Rogue, didnt bother to look U-Turn infront of High Street Kensington station from some guy in a massive SUV = me riding into a bus stop.

on a few different occasions this morning i was cycling behind someone on a MTB going quite slow.... turns out they were smoking a ciggy!
never seen that before

I have. What do I win?