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@General_Lucifer
Thanks Gizmorat. I've not had a story go quite that spectacularly wrong before, and to have posted it without properly looking at it again was a massive mistake. Fucking lazy of me.
My focus was on the blokes, but the story ended up tilting in a horrible way at women, and sounded deeply misogynistic when I re-read it.
That feedback is extremely helpful, Gizmorat. I'll work on the story again, make it longer, cut the shit out of it.