Football

This really should go it the Epic WTF thread, but not sure anyone will understand it ;)

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rlsd01

FOOTBALL HAS OFFICIALLY DIED. I REPEAT OFFICIALLY DIED....

MESSI, PELE AND BECKENBAUER SIGN FOR FARNBOROUGH FC
Paddy Power sponsorship deal brings all time greats to the Skrill South

When the Premier League kicks-off this weekend, Manchester United and Chelsea may feel that they have missed out on their key transfer targets. However, the same cannot be said of Skrill South outfit Farnborough FC, who have had a month to remember – unveiling the signings of Lionel Messi, Pele and Franz Beckenbauer!

But this isn't just another oil-rich, oligarch takeover. In a world football first brokered by bookmaker Paddy Power, every player in the first team squad of Farnborough FC, has changed their name legally by deed poll to the name of a legendary footballer in their respective position. The end result is that, on paper, the Skrill South team will be without doubt the best combination of playing talent that has ever been assembled.

The partnership between Paddy Power and Farnborough FC, mooted to be a mammoth six-figure deal, came just in time for 'Boro'. Having been trapped in administration since April, the club's future was very much in the balance, but they can now start the season with sound financial footing. The one-year deal sees Paddy Power become title sponsors of the club, which will include kit branding and stadium sponsorship, as Cherrywood Road becomes Paddy Power Park for the opening season.

Instead of a line-up including the likes of Balls, Inns and Treacher, the yellow kit of Hampshire's finest, will be adorned with all time great names like Gascoigne, Best, Pele, Banks and Beckenbauer. Additionally the manager of Farnborough FC, formerly known as Spencer Day, has changed his name to that of the 'Special One' Jose Mourinho.

The players' deed poll certificates and registration documents have been filed with the League, meaning that the Farnborough FC team that kicks off their Skrill South campaign on Saturday will be the most star-studded team in history. It's not just the Farnborough FC faithful, all Skrill South fans now need only to travel to Paddy Power Park, and not the Nou Camp, to see some of the world's best players.

-Ends-

Full Squad List:

Kevin Ainsley SCRIVEN Gordon BANKS Goalkeeper
Joshua Adam HUGGINS Lothar MATTHAUS Defender
Oliver George TREACHER Silva Rocha ROBERTO CARLOS Defender
Adam Hugh DOYLE Paolo MALDINI Defender
Alan Francis INNS Alan HANSEN Defender
Paul Jinnah MASSAQUOI Marcos Evangelista de Moraes CAFU Defender
Djibril FOFANA John TERRY Defender
Thomas Andrew McGARRY Franz BECKENBAUER Defender
Reece Nicholas JONES George BEST Midfield
Stephen Thomas LAIDLER Paul GASCOIGNE Midfield
Merrick Anthony JAMES-LEWIS Zinedine ZIDANE Midfield
Tyrone Michael Justin BERRY Johann CRUYFF Midfield
Daniel BENNETT Lionel MESSI Strikers
Reece William CONNOLLY Gary LINEKER Strikers
David Charles TARPEY Diego MARADONA Strikers
Elvis Zark HAMMOND Edson Arantes do Nascimento PELE Strikers
Spencer DAY José MOURINHO Manager
Leigh James Thomas DYNAN Paddy POWER Assistant Manager
Simon John GARDENER Sir Alex Fergurson First-Team Coach
Roger Leslie PEIRCE Terry Venables Kit Man

About Farnborough FC:
Farnborough Football Club (formed after the demise of Farnborough Town F.C. in 2007) is an English football team currently in the Conference South after finishing top of Southern League Premier Division in 2009–10.

Their home ground is known as Cherrywood Road, based in Farnborough, Hampshire. Their primary colours are all yellow with blue trim.
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