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@General_Lucifer
The craze for learning to fart-on-demand went round our school.
The technique was to kind of do a shoulder stand, propping your hips with your hands, then just let your arse relax.
Lads were propped round the classroom with their legs in the air, and suddenly you'd hear a wet sucking noise.
"SLUUURP!"
Everyone would giggle.
An arse had inhaled.
Then an almighty ripper would go off to the amusement of all.
"PAAARP!!"
One lad, Glen, couldn't do it. He laughed loudest and just fucking loved it, but he couldn't get the technique right.
"Practice tonight at home, mate. you'll get it right."
So he did.
He adopted the position, relaxed.
Nothing.
He stuck at it, wishing for his arsehole to open and suck in a great bowelful of air, but no joy.
He realised that his trouser belt might be inhibiting his techniques so he stripped off and gave it another go.
"SLUUUUURP!"
He'd done it!
PAAAARP!
Glen was away.
"SLUURP! PAAARP! SLUUURP! PAAARP! SLUUUUURP! PAAARP!!"
Laughing with undiluted glee he blew off great big rippers into the sky.
Then his mum walked in to find her favourite son pointing his gaping, sucking arsehole at her, giggling like a loon, farting madly in her direction.
She took ages to get over it. For some reason she thought this made him gay.