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@mikec
Cut and pasted from the Guardian. Some funny bits in here
Meanwhile, Brendan Rodgers has just opened an envelope said to contain a list of people who will disappoint him this summer … and found a big smiley photo of Jürgen Klopp. Fresh from gazumping Liverpool for Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Borussia Dortmund now want to make a move for José Salomón Rondón, the Rubin Kazan striker who Rodgers has been eyeing up as a potential replacement for Luis Suárez. Liverpool are going back to looking, starting at Udinese's Luis Muriel instead. Sam Allardyce, meanwhile, is also sniffing around Udine, either for a ball that landed there following a West Ham training session in Chadwell Heath or for Matej Vydra, the striker who thrived while on loan at Watford last season.
Joey Barton is prepared to take a pay cut to secure a move to Everton. Now all he needs is for someone to give Roberto Martínez one good reason to sign him – other than the suggestion that Wigan are demanding £20m for James McCarthy.
Valencia and Fernando Torres may well be the only two entities left in Europe who believe that Torres is a top striker and that just might be enough common ground for them to start a relationship. Chelsea will stifle their celebrations until after they have replaced him with Suárez or Wayne Rooney, and possibly also nabbed Sami Khedira from Real Madrid to remind José Mourinho of all the happy times he enjoyed there.