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@Soul
A couple of years ago, I went to Oktoberfest on a work jolly. After about 12 hours at the festival itself, we moved on to a club down the road. Vodka, gin and beer made the rounds and we drank and danced.
About an hour after we arrived, someone realised that we were a person down in our group. We spent a good 15 minutes searching for him before two of the bouncers turned up with him in tow. Apparently, he'd decided to take a nap. Standing up. In a toilet cubicle.
The bouncers decided he was too drunk and as we were all a group (and were also worse for wear) they began to usher us out of the club towards the taxi ranks. At the entrance of the club was a stairwell leading down to the street. In the corner of the stairwell was a woman, trousers around her ankles, squatting on the corner. As our eyes adjusted to the light, it became apparent that she was curling out a neat little turd, right onto the stairs. We looked at each other in disbelief.
The only person to speak was the friend who had been caught napping. Pointing at the horrified woman he said "and she gets to stay!?".
We were put in taxis and sent back to the hotel.