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@JamesQGM
I woke up in the middle of the night with aching stomach pains. I hadn't eaten or drank anything rough but as i sleepily rushed to the loo i knew something was wrong.
With both eyes still mostly shut i pulled down my pants and out fired something the texture of melting chocolate ice cream. As i turned round to sit on the loo, i looked down at the floor. Staring back at me as my girlfriends monkey bathmat, with his tongue sticking out and a speech bubble exclaiming "Yum!". Covered in my poo.
After 20 minutes emptying myself, and a quick shower, i crawled back into bed. My girlfriend asked if i was okay:
"I've shat all over your monkey mat" i said and fell straight back to sleep.