• The truth is Skully has been harbouring malevolent thoughts about cyclists of all hues for a long time. Whenever I was 'standing by' at 'creative' corner I used to dread seeing him approaching with that distinctive gait of his, half John Inman, half goosestepping Nazi.
    I knew I was in for another ten, fifteen or even twenty minutes of unalloyed vitriol, spite and resentment. And then he'd stop talking about The St John's Ambulance service and start on cyclists.
    One week it would be BMXers, the next mountain bikers. He once kept me there for a full hour while he let rip about people who rode tandems. His belief was that if they wanted to ride the same bicycle they should have their bodies sewn together (an idea later picked up for the film Human Centipede) and then be nailed, Christ like, to a unicycle.
    So it's not surprising that he is now picking on 'roadies'. Eventually perhaps he will tire of cyclists and move on to another subject. For a while he would sometimes divert in to spittle-flecking invective about The Samaritans, towards whom he seemed to bear a long-held resentment, but then he would always return to 'bastard cyclists'. It's sad really.

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