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  • The mayonnaise in my burger was too nosy for my taste, asking all sorts of personal questions. The poor lettuce didn't know where to look, a ruse for planting bugs to gather data, information, evidence and proof of my involvement in all wrongdoing, for which I am unrepentant. I will be taking my business elsewhere though, to the ignorant Mick's chippy where the batter doesn't cast aspersions.

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