What do you think about while cycling?

"am I thinking about what I am thinking about without thinking about it?"

"I wonder if some chump is going to spit their chewing gum in my face again today?"

:/

"maybe it's not a great idea to toss my gum out of a moving bus"

(not an euph).

^^ dtm

"I wonder if that crack really is a crack or just in the paint.." :S (that bike is grounded now)

"Jesus - will you look at that crack! Do I tell him to pull his shorts up or tut loudly as I overtake?"

my saddles too low...

my saddles too high....

my saddle needs to come forward a bit...

my saddle needs to go back a bit

is this saddle really that comfortable

maybe my arse is the wrong shape...

Maybe you need a different saddle? :P

"BokkabokkabokkachudunpshBwwwwwwaaaaaaaaannnnnpshBwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnpshBrrwwwwwaaaaaooooonnnnnnPshBrrrwwwwwaaaoooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnpshbnaawwpshbnawwpshnwwpshchkBWwwaaaaaaannnnnnnpsshBwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaannnnpshBrrwwwwwwaaaaaoooooooonnnnnchkpsheeeeenenennpshBWWaaaaaaaaaaaaooonnnnnpshBwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaoooonnnnnn...etc etc,"

On longer rides I go through the rest of the barnyard animal noises.

I wish I could smoke and cycle at the same time without incident. Is that car going to cut me up, wheres the next giant pothole and how far have all these people dressed head ot toe in lycra are going or have been... bit much for a quick outing to Tescos.

I dress head to toe in lycra. I don't even leave the bedroom.

On longer rides I go through the rest of the barnyard animal noises.

Those were animal noises? I was getting concerned because you seemed to suffer from bike-induced cognitive dysfunction.

"What is that twat doing?"

"Don't even think about it"

"Noooooo"

"You absolute dicksplash"

"oo new cake shop"

wheely over this pothole, wheely over that pothole.

The pain I keep getting in my right hamstring. Fucking annoying

I haven't quite managed a bunnyhop whilst on aerobars..

"Crap, a pothole. Better bunny hop this to save my rims. Plus I'll look super cool and people will be impressed by my skillz"
"HIIIII-YAHH!!"
...

"Boy, that 0.5cm hop was totally embarrassing"
"Better cycle faster away from the scene to save further humiliation"

When cycling hard the thoughts fluctuate between

Nom Nom Nom

Vom Vom Vom

"I really should replace my drivetrain"