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@bothwell
Does anybody want a free telly? I never watch it and it's taking up space in my flat that I could really use for something else. It is one of these: http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/sis.html?_kw=JVC+%22interi+art%22+32+inch+CRT+television
You can have both the telly and its remote, and the Argos "oak effect" mini unit thing it is sitting on.
The oak effect of the table is as convincing as anything else out of Argos. Noise and pictures come out of the TV on demand.
In order to take advantage of this incredible bargain, you will need to come and collect it from Balham with a car, and use your muscles as it is extremely heavy. I can help you carry it downstairs but you'll be doing most of the work because I'm a lazy weakling.