Time Trial / Time Trialling / TT

Learn how to a: pin your own number on to a suit you're already wearing and b: not be afraid to show the world your body. Unless you're super hot, nobody will be looking anyway, they all have better things to worry about than a 2s flash of your arse.

(a) It's tight. The skin suit, that is. Very tight. And my limbs, never the most supple of things, are not going to be able to pin a race number on myself. The chances of me ever being able to reach around (fnar) and pin my own number on are nil.

(b) One of the HQs we use most often is a car park next to a sports ground. Usually occupied by fresh-faced youngsters on football training evenings. The other testers might be unconcerned by a quick flash of Brommers Buttocks, but I suspect the girls under-13 football group may not be so nonchalant. And I'd like to stay off the Sex Offenders Register if possible.

And anyway, it would take waaaaay more than 2s. It takes me a good 5 minutes just to squeeze myself into the damn thing.