This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Getting bored of vespaboys and motorcyclists tooting their feeble little horns at me on Farringdon Road because they figure I ought to be riding faster over potholes and / or diving into tiny gaps between trucks and barriers while they tailgate me. "Toot! Toot!" Fuck off.

Slow down markedly every time you here it until you've stopped and then twist their head around whilst it's in the helmet. They pop off eventually and make a stylish football.