Strava

Fuck that, I demand a bigger hole be punched through the air for me, so it's one of these*:

http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/1558347/23434821/0/1317106198/Scooter_Advertising_Trailer_Mobile_Pizza_Advertising_Lightbox.jpg

*on the hills only, because on the flat I'll just sit behind you, you fat cunt.

I can give you a leadout but it'll only be about 50m up the hill before you get bored and have to do the rest yourself.