Car appreciation... the aesthetics, the engineering, etc

Nothing, really, apart from looking like a hooptie, and I already have one fast car with blown out red paint.

Not "looking like a hooptie" is not in this remit:

What's small, really light, handles like a dream and will allow fun to be had at low speeds?

It's small, really light, handles like a dream, you can have loads of fun at low speeds, and as a 1.6, it's not exactly quick.