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  • The Fall, Clapham Grand - 17th May.

    Chris & Cosey, Heaven - 19th May.

    Saturday night's got 'stay in' written all over it.

    The Fall - still my favourites, still the best. Nothing will ever change that, not even a support act so free of a motif of their own the last 20 years of recorded music was pillaged until the frontman of 'Big Unit' couldn't decide whether he was Ian Brown, Shaun Ryder, Bez or Joe Strummer. In his head he was all at once, and hopeful nobody in the crowd would recognise he didn't have one original idea to rub against the next. Never before have I seen a band get through a set on force of will alone, but when your song titles amount to 'Get Fucked' and 'MDMAmazing', you know pure front is the only thing going for a troupe so derivative I can barely remember the great Mark E Smith at all - except he looked like a 1000 year old ghoul at the back of a reincarnation queue having a better time than could be expected. Adoring looks to his keyboard playing wife, supportive gestures to his umpteenth guitarist and handing over of the microphone mid-song to a punter in the mosh-pit with a 'you think of some lyrics then' testament to that.

    7.5/10.

    Chris and Cosey - just back from what must be, apart from when Eamonn Holmes and his dearly beloved fumble through another episode of 'This Morning' on the brink of an on-air divorce, easily the best thing I've ever witnessed. It wasn't house or techno - more an insistent music that didn't grow old the more it remained similar across the whole, much too short set. For just over an hour they made nothing else matter. I saw Mark Moore just as we left and my mate assures me Marc Almond was bobbing around, but none of that impacts on one of the finest nights I've had anywhere.

    125.6/10.

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