Lightweight tent recommendations?

Not sure if this is to be taken seriously. I googled for them and found some but they all seem quite fishy... On the other hand a long cable like that would make me sleep better if I were to lock the bike to myself. Thanks though for the hint on packing the tent!

I am still eager to know how much actual space these tents provide. Is it enough to store a person, backpack, handlebar bag and a 75'' TV?

tie some string to your toe and attach other end of string to bike