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@jambon
A Husband comes home late stinking of booze with sick all down his shirt after a night in the local pub...
The Wife says: "Oh not again, look at the mess you've made of yourself!"
The Husband replies in a slurred tone: "Honestly, that's not my vomit. Some bloke threw up on me and even gave me this £10 to get the shirt dry cleaned."
She replies: "I'd of at least hoped for a 20 for the shitty mess he made in your pants"
(goes something like that)