For Sale: Newcastle

I have for sale this lovely northern city that i recently bought from ebay but it turns out it's a little bit too big to fit in my flat and the landlord is getting upset as it's blocking the fire escape.

£88.6 million wich is what i paid

paypal gift only please unless you are willing to cover the fees
or bank transfer

Any questions, more pictures or to arrange a viewing please ask

Dibs all the Greggs branches if you split.

Part ex for my arse? Cash either way.

wanted to swap for something smaller really

repped. oh wait...

Dibs the river and the fog.

Dibs Gazza if you will split

you can't separate Gazza and Newcastle. The world would end.

He says the buyer can have some of his chicken

Was kind of hoping Gazza was Freecycle...

If this were real I'd love it. Just love it.

Get Carter (1971) - YouTube

Would you consider posting this?

Undibs, seller did not specify that it was the Tyne model rather than Newcastle-under-Lyme, holding out for one of the latter. Apologies.

newcastle under lyme is gas pipe tubing !

fiddy dorrah? dont need the Gateshead bit though

I see Portobello on that map. No matter how hard I try my roots cannot be shaken.

Whitley Bay's fine if your attention span dissolves after 5 minutes, and Chester le Street's ideal if you have a Bryan Robson complex. A wonderful part of the world I had the good sense to leave at the grand old age of 2.

yet you've never shed the accent?

North Eastern elocution is the finest in the North East.

Does the sale include the northeastern microclimate? Everyone up that way always seems to have a tan, so I reckon that's what makes em so cheery.

If you split I'll take everything except those bellends from Geordie shore. They've disgraced my fair home town too long.

If you're not willing to split I'll part ex for Middlesbrough.

Does the 'Trebles' bar still sell tipple shot drinks? If so i'm interested. I'll pay cash up front.

Almost certain this has been stolen...

Had the Newcastle Brown brewery [Federation Brewery] in Gateshead still been open, I would have been interested. However sadly closed and production has moved to John Smith's Brewery at Tadcaster.

As Gazza is not available.....what about the memory of Wor Jackie [Jackie Milburn]?

oh ben, you are a one.

is this still available?