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@withered_preacher
I don't have any kids, but if I did I would creep them out using this method:
Start with a Kipling story.
Have Jack Nicholson narrate it.
Have Bobby McFerrin loodling in the background.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6qKUkKK7yg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cvwhp5sJPc