Wonderfully stupid bicycling questions

My girlfriend, this morning, watching as I fitted a new tire:

You know where it says 'Gatorskin'? Is it really made of alligator skin?

Girlfriend:
"Why do I have to clean my bike?"

what does LFGSS stand for?

"Someone's written cunt on your bike!!"

How many gears has a single speed got?

Coming home having split my helmet in two- 'did it hurt?'

Me: Does my bike look cool?
Girlfriend: I don't care

Me: Lift my bike up. It's really light isn't it?
Girlfriend: I don't care

Me: Does my bike look cool?
Girlfriend: I don't care

Me: Lift my bike up. It's really light isn't it?
Girlfriend: I don't care

Your GF sounds awesome actually. Deffo a keeper.

Especially seeing as your first question warrants a kick in the nuts.

Stupid woman - YouTube

My wife is so cool she bought me my 2 bikes ... well I say bought them for me. I mean she gave me the cash and I got the bike.

TBFT, I do the same for her with shoes. I 'buy' them for her ... but I'm not good with colours so really she buys her own :)

Me: Does my bike look cool?
Girlfriend: I don't care

Me: Lift my bike up. It's really light isn't it?
Girlfriend: I don't care

Almost verbatim, I had this conversation yesterday

when i get a punture my girlfrend always says.

''does that mean u have to fix the wheel? =)))''

ME:..........

NO U FCKING STUPID SL*T ITS CALLED A TUBE! .............NOW

F#CKING SHUT UP AND PASS ME A 15ML SPANNER!!

Bit strong for a Sunday, no?

when i get a punture my girlfrend always says.

''does that mean u have to fix the wheel? =)))''

ME:..........

NO U FCKING STUPID SL*T ITS CALLED A TUBE! .............NOW

F#CKING SHUT UP AND PASS ME A 15ML SPANNER!!

Your spanners measure in units of volume?

when i get a punture my girlfrend always says.

''does that mean u have to fix the wheel? =)))''

ME:..........

NO U FCKING STUPID SL*T ITS CALLED A TUBE! .............NOW

F#CKING SHUT UP AND PASS ME A 15ML SPANNER!!

I think it is you that is the spanner....

"How much to just use the pump"

Wow this thread is fucking awful. The title sounded like fun :(

Bloke comes into shop.

"There's something wrong with the bike, I got it from TESCO and put it together and the steering is really bad"

"Well, the forks are on the wrong way round, that might do it."

Coming home having split my helmet in two- 'did it hurt?'

Body mod thread >>>

Girlfriend:
"Why do I have to clean my bike?"

This seems like a reasonable question to me. She can surely get you to do it for her, no?

Wow this thread is fucking awful. The title sounded like fun :(

Hmm, yeah, certain posts may have missed the point/horrified most.

Keep it light/sane, folks.

My girlfriend knows more than she lets on. She just pleads ignorance so I fix her bike for her.

You're all doomed.

;-)

Why have you only got one brake.

How many skid patches have you got.

"does it do barspinz"

Yeah I would cycle but my tyres are flat (for last six years)
How do you blow them up?