• And you'll be slow from lack of exercise so you won't be able to get away from them either. Ho ho.

    No-one can be as slow as a slightly overweight man wearing a fluoro vest on an Argos Full Suspension MTB with underinflated tyres and a rusty chain. (That's not me, by the way. I'm on my sweet fixeh, dodging traffic and running lights, yeah? BRAKESAREDEATH.)

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