Thinking of selling up..

if the joy of cycling doesn't outweigh the fear then you're probably best not getting back on the bike.

stop reading the forum, enjoy riding your bike.
Mostly I ride a bike for the sheer joy of it.
A very very long time ago when I was about 11 they told us at school that by the time we were 25 we would have lost a friend or close relative to a fatal road crash. They were right about both.
Decades later London is 3 to 4 times less risky than where I was then. The risks are real but so are the risks of not riding:- a less active, less healthy, joyless life.
Managing ourselves to minimise risk makes sense. For me it is by trying to learn from every 'near miss' and see them before they happen. And training. Spending an hour with a Bikeability trainer analysing and criticising my moves was an enlightening experience. That was about 5 years ago and I need to do it again. Everyone reading this needs to do it again, about every 5 years for the rest of your life.