What is a hipster? Look at this fucking hipster...

I locked my orange bike to her's the other day so I could ask her out. But I bottled it and pretended it was an accident.

#hownottoaskherout/lockyourbike

If someone ever did that to me I would kick them in the balls for being an inconsiderate fuckhead.

At university recently, a girl asked me to lock her bike to mine, was she trying to ask me out?

I kicked her in the fanny to be on the safe side