Road bike recommendations

Knee length socks, SPD sandals and beards modelled on those customary for American Civil War infantrymen all have a significant aerodynamic drag, which we have been told is more important than weight up to a 6% incline anway, so touring bikes may as well be made of something suitable for attaching magnetic Scrabble tiles to.

You forget the harmonica to keep oneself entertained while camping in the wild. Wind drag on them things is lethal.