A letter to my former oncologist

Hi everyone,

I hope you don't mind me posting this here as I don't post very much, though I do enjoy meeting LFGSSers at Easts and Bluequinn says that many of you very kindly ask after me :) The following is a letter that I am sending to my former Oncologist next week; I'm sharing it around in the hope that it might bring some positivity/hope to anyone else who is currently affected by cancer. Please do feel free to pass it on if you think it might help someone! I don't want publicity for myself but really do want to spread this message and help other people to not give up hope.

Thanks tons,
Bobbinbird/MrsQuinn x

Dear Dr K,

Greetings, I hope that you are well! I am a former patient of yours, and am very well myself.

On January 26th 2011, I was seen at your clinic and I'm afraid that you had bad news to give me; the breast cancer that I had only recently been diagnosed with had already metastasised to my liver. You told me this - and I felt so badly for you having to deliver such horrible news - and then told me that I now had "18-24 months, maximum" left to live. You followed this up with a letter to my GP, so it is clear in all my medical records: "I have told her that she has life expectancy of a maximum of 24 months".

Dear Dr K, that was two years and one day ago. I am currently so well that my last PET/CT scans were completely clear, and my current oncologist feels that I may not even need another set of scans for six months! I take the drug Letrazole, and have the Zoladex implant, so the side-effects of these two treatments can be uncomfortable BUT in the past year alone I have gone on a walking tour of Rome, visited the archaelogical sites at Pompeii, driven a speedboat across Lake Como, climbed many hills along the Welsh Marches and attended the Olympics, where I cheered our inspirational athletes as they won their golds (something that, following your news, wasn't sure I would live to see). I've explored Guernsey's secret underground tunnels and meditated at the most remote church in Wales and have walked the Monsal Trail in Derbyshire, stopping off at the well in Eyam, the Plague Village. In the face of hell, those villagers didn't give up either.

I'm writing this letter to implore you, next time you have to break the news of advanced disease to someone - especially someone young - please tell them "well, statistically you are likely to live for x amount of months, but people DO outlive the statistics all the time, and one of my former patients has just done that". It is not fair to put an absolute limit on someone's life; there is always hope, however tiny a spark it seems at the time.

I would also ask you to do your best to ensure that your colleagues at the Breast Service are extremely careful and do not cut corners when testing the women who attend ther clinics. Six months before I saw you I was misdiagnosed by one of your colleagues, who noted that I had two breast lumps "but we ony need to test one of them, we're not worried about the other". Big, big mistake. Since then I have had many people tell me to "sue for damages", and whilst that would be the right course of action for some people, it is not how I would want to spend my now-limited life. You and your colleagues save countless lives every day, you are the reason families still have their mothers and their daughters, the reason that people can grow old with their lifelong partners. You cannot get it right 100% of the time and sadly for me, your colleague was very wrong. So, without bitterness, I implore you and your team to make those extra checks in future.

Here's to the next two years!

Yours sincerely,
......

PS my hair grew back, and it came back blonde again :-)

:)

Wonderful.

Beautiful... :)

Nice one!

! full of win

Fuck! Thanks for this Bb. I can already think of someone in my life who may want to see this. Amazingly considered and balanced words of constructive criticism too. Not many people in any walk of life are lucky enough to get feedback in this tone of voice.

Well done you.

Fuck! Thanks for this Bb. I can already think of someone in my life who may want to see this. Amazingly considered and balanced words of constructive criticism too. Not many people in any walk of life are lucky enough to get feedback in this tone of voice.

A very refreshing stance. :)

v. good :)

a couple of years ago my mother, although not young like you, was also given 2 years following a lymphoma/leukemia diagnosis. she was told that there was always a chance to outlive the 2 years but it was all pretty grim. that was 3 years ago! she is currently clear of any.. markers? I think that's what they say.

great letter BobbinBird, really lovely. I hope the doc takes it on board and acts on it too.

Actually reading this on my phone while sitting in a ward with my mum who is receiving chemo for lymphoma. Nice post! Thank you for sharing!

We were prepared for the worst but it's going really well. Science FTW and all that.

Nice to hear some good news. Congratulations and an inspiring letter well done.

Hell yeah, you go girl!

I have a very good friend right now going through breast cancer, double mastectomy, hair loss, the works. But she's a fighter.

Amazing to read your story, keep kicking ass x

Good stuff. :o)