Things I Think About When I Cycle...

Your musings have a certain wallace stevens about them, good stuff

4 - How much I was looking forward to a good dollop of duck rillettes with toasted rye bread once I returned.

Mmmmm.... http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/duckrillettes_83817

Things I Think About When I Cycle...

Sex .

Is that a repost ?

Mmmmm.... http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/duckrillettes_83817

I was really enjoying that until I realised it was James Martin...

Today, I mostly thought about food due to a fairly catastrophic bonk at the exact point I was furthest from home. Cue an hour and forty five minutes of food fantasy.

Judging by some of the cycling I see, there are number of people who think about nothing when they cycle. But this also goes for some drivers and pedestrians too.

I want a burrito
I want a milkshake
that guy's a prick
why are you overtaking me so closely do you want us both to die?
come the fuck on
do i attempt a trackstand?
no, don't attempt a trackstand

"Are those girls looking at me or my pink bike?"

"Why are you going so fucking slowly!?"
"Why are you overtaking me so fucking closely?!"
"Why are you on your mobile fucking phone?"
"Why are you driving so fucking badly? Oh, you're in a fucking BMW, Q.E.D"
"Why aren't you fucking indicating?!"
"Why don't you understand how roundabouts fucking work?!"
"Why am I so angry?! I need to chill the fuck out!"
"I am zen and calm and I love cycling"
"^^"
"^^"
"^_^"
[/repeat from beginning for many crank revolutions]

cow parsely, white lines, potholes, telegraph poles, dead moles, audis, buttercups, guttermuck, sand, puddle, pylons, oak trees, ash trees, aching knees, fine rain, heavy rain, mouldy rucksack sweat, vinegar, stiff shoulder, runny nose, chapped lips, england's all the fucking same, black birds, dog turds, cow pat, rear rack, are my panniers evenly loaded...

"Why am I doing this? I've got nowhere to go."
"I hope the next pothole is giant vat of Heroin and Cyanide"

Candy, usually.

mostly something along the lines of:

'NEOOOOWWWM Im a fighter pilot'
'oh fuck that pothole is huge'
'im having more fun that 99% of the people around here'
'she has a nice bottom'
'Im such a hard man cycling about in the rain'
'im trackstanding with no hands.. all the women round here must want me.'
'who is that utter cockwomble with the single speed with only 1 brake?'

Badgers - YouTube

^^Rep! Made me smile!

Crashing, I think about what happen if I got hit from behind, head-on, potholes etc.

I think about what would happen if I crashed and died and no one knew who I was as I don't have any ID that says where I live, and how would anyone know who to call?

I need to lighten up a bit when I'm riding.

I think about how you're all going to die as well...

#evilpost2387

What the TNRC think about when cycling:

Fuck off taxi
Don't hit me taxi
Please indicate taxi
For fucks sake that taxi nearly hit me
Then I think about buying a d-lock holster and breaking off future offenders' wing mirrors with my new weapon, before realising that it's a ridiculous idea and that that sort of thing doesn't happen in Portsmouth.

farting in bib shorts feels wrong.

On Christmas morning it was just: "Why is it so fucking muddy" for 70 minutes.

I think about what would happen if I crashed and died and no one knew who I was as I don't have any ID that says where I live, and how would anyone know who to call?

That too.

I think about what would happen if I crashed and died and no one knew who I was as I don't have any ID that says where I live, and how would anyone know who to call?

I need to lighten up a bit when I'm riding.

I carry a card with my next of kin's name and phone number on it for precisely this eventuality. Basically like one of these: http://www.icecard.co.uk/

Haven't yet needed it, but you know. If I ever do, at least they'll be able to tell my mum quickly that they've scraped me off the road and into a jam jar.

Great thread, would read again.

Can't be that far off world hour record... Maybe I should give it a shot.

Also think about naked girl((s) if I'm honest) and beer and coffee, but I do that most of the time anyway.