Fave quotes

got to find a qoute re lizards form
Uncle Hunter

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.

In order to be irreplaceable, you must be different.

Coco Chanel

'...I always try to think outside the box..."'

Ernesto Colnago

"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love" - W. Allen

"Alright, Alright, Alright" - Wooderson, Dazed and Confused

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" - Stand by Me (and so true)

Resisting the urge to post Super Hans quotes.

"Tell you what, that crack is really moreish"

'"I always tell the truth, even when I lie"

T. Montana Esq.

Your car breaks and you take it to the garage – dirty room, five mechanics maybe, car keys hung on nails next to the front counter. Two cars on lifts, one car in the corner, all the other cars parked in the back. Everything and everybody is covered in grease, everyone's smoking like crazy. They have to fix 20 cars before 5pm, or else the backlog will fucking break everybody's back until Christmas. The parts suppliers roll in every half-hour or so, mostly bringing new brake pads and flex-hoses, but bumpers sometimes, oil-pans, headlight assemblies or timing belts.

In a good garage, the whole mess of it almost collapses all day long. Dudes yell and argue, everything's going wrong and why are we doing this anyways? The hose won't fucking fit, or the screwdriver slips and you lose the hose-clamp somewhere beneath the undercarriage. The sun starts to set and the floor gets littered with burnt bulbs, spent gaskets, oil, and sweat, and brake fluid. Someone's hungover, someone's heartbroken, someone couldn't sleep last night, someone feels unappreciated, but all that matters is making it through the pile, the labour is shared and there's a perfect broken poetry to the hammering and yelling, the whine of the air compressor kicking to life every five minutes or so.

It all seems impossible. But somehow we make it through the pile. The cars run again. The cars drive away. Rough day but now it's done, and everything's fine; everything's better than fine. Tomorrow we'll do it all over again. You deal with the Volvo, I'll deal with the Toyota. Heat and noise. All day, every day, until it's quiet again. We fix cars until we die. We love fixing cars.

"They're wasting ammunition; they couldn't hit an elephant from this dist"

How much for the ape?

"Pure silk she wanted, a fine leather she got".

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

― Albert Einstein

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”

“Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.”

"Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving." ~ Albert Einstein

"I thought of that while riding my bicycle." ~ Albert Einstein on the Theory of Relativity

live like you are going to die tomorrow, learn like you are going to live forever

Ahm gona buy the internet

then i wont let any of you on hahaha an youll all be like "oh pls ur amazin plz plz can we use yr internet" and ill be like "no this is just like that time america bombed nagasaki and hiroshima"
theres absolutely no difference

fact

"When the hour of crisis comes, remember that 40 selected men can shake the world" - Yasotay

"Great things happen when men and mountains meet" - Richard Askwith

'Strong, light, cheap. Pick two.'

Keith Bontrager.

Sorry if pea.. but I love this so much.

"Fuck all and plenty of it."

"Don't eat the yellow snow"

F Zappa

"Get my son to call you Daddy, I'm gonna fuck your wife"
Cam Brady

800,000 hairs on any given human body but one little one winds up in your potato salad you act like someone wiped their ass with your tongue

doug stanhope