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  • '84 Austin Metro 1.0 City
    Utter shite but it was easy and cheap to run and repair, the clutch cylinder leaked, I discovered this on my first trip out in it. There were holes in the floor and no carpet as I was in the process of welding them up, when I went through a puddle great gouts of water gushed into the passenger footwell. I accidentally welded my hidden metal bong to the inside of the door panel whilst working on the outside. Sold it to my mate eventually, he never passed his test and his Mum fell through the front wing there was so much rust. The Red Metro is still spoken about in hushed tones of awe to this day.

    '85 Austin Metro 1.3
    Tuned to the max with turbo wheels and interior, K&N filter and well, that was about it actually. I fitted 'hi camber' hardened bushings to the front suspension and it caned roundabouts (there's a lot in Crawley) but it was unreliable and blew up. I sold it after 9 months.

    '89 Cavalier SRi
    Lowered on Spax springs this too was a roundabout demolishing heathen, combined with a sports exhaust it was too low for Tescos, so I had to shop at Sainsbury's. Like a badass. My then 50something yr old Mum once drove it 90 miles back from Southampton and thoroughly enjoyed it, it wasn't very fast but it sounded the part and that was enough for her.

    '94 Citroen ZX Volcane 2.0
    Utterly standard, but smelled like someone had dropped a bong in it. A hot day made me smell like Bob Marley's pants. Beautiful handling and quite quick too, but despite working for Citroen at the time, it had an unidentifiable stalling problem as it would not idle once warm.

    '97 Mitsubishi Carisma 1.8
    Boredom on wheels, but lasted me 5 years of caning until my GF crashed it into a telegraph pole. She was fine, the car was actually not too bad and perfectly driveable, but insurance he say 'no'.

    '01 VW Caravelle 2.5 TD
    Wicked and I can sleep in it. Approaching 300,000 miles and going strong. My favourite car so far.

    My Crappy Car history, almost 20 years of consecutive ownership there. CSB

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