St Crispin's Day Night Ride

I'm probably in but need to sort out childcare etc. I think I've missed the Groupon too. That bottle of wine better be good.

Here's the route...does loop back on itself just in the last bit. I'm doing it...but with gears. You have until Sunday to enter, if you still want to.

It's no Dun Run, but I'm looking forward to another night ride. :)

http://www.justgoride.co.uk/Content/Routes/Viewer.aspx?id=1711

I'm looking forward to this :)
Never done 100 miles in one crack, nice one to ease myself into.

... so is this a ride for procrastinators who can't make their mind up whether to ride it at day or night

1. Jamesprw
   
2. purpaboo
   
3. Brain-Stew (+ 2 non-"ON HERE" mates)
   
4. Mk1mark
   
5. mands
   
6. etienne (+ 3/4 non forum goers)
   
   

p.s i don't see what all the fuss is about.

Just seen the menu for the food at the vineyard and have to say I'm slightly unhappy. For all the talk of "the finest goulash" and "artisan food", the idea of some warmed-up food from frozen-food manufactuers Oakhouse isn't quite up to scratch.

Can only hope the wine is good and the food stops all have free fur coats to make up for the entry price

"Fruity chicken curry"

1. purpaboo
   
2. Brain-Stew (+ 2 non-"ON HERE" mates)
   
3. Mk1mark
   
4. mands
   
5. etienne (+ 3/4 non forum goers)
   
   

Out.

Rumour - Eddy Merckx?

A mate said he'd entered himself with the great man. They've never met but I still want it to be true!

I agree it's odd to pay 45 quid for a ride like this when you've ridden the Dynamo for free and the marketing makes me cringe. The stop with 'Itailian influenced' sausage rolls and croissants should be interesting. Still, once everyone has had their moan about the expense and disruption to commuters, we'll all sit down together to watch the opening ceremony and realise it's going to be fun. See you there you retro new-age geared fixie riders.

Right - so who ended up riding this?

After much deliberation about what the night would hold (and sitting, depressed, on the sofa as the clouds closed in and the hail came down at about 10pm), I finally loaded up my bike with headlights, GPS, wine bottle carrier, spare batteries and...er...purple handlebar streamers

I set out with a couple of mates at about 12.30 after standing around politely at the back of a scrum to sign on - wouldn't have bothered usually, but this was the only place to pick up food vouchers for all the 'gourmet treats' which lay ahead. When it became clear that British politeness wasn't going to get us anywhere, it was elbows out with halitosis and flatulence to the fore in a desperate bid to leave before developing frostbite.

The first few miles passed without trouble, and we caught a large group riding up the Enbankment causing car-nage which we promptly left behind as they looked like prime candidates for RTAs (not to mention pulling stunts that had cabbies knawing their steering wheels in anger). Another group up ahead looked a bit more stable, and we followed them up the Mall, where we took a right past Buck House. The GPS on my stem bleeped its discontent at leaving the 'official' route - but the number of red blinky lights up ahead couldn't all be wrong, could they? Making our way up the line of riders, we finally got to the front past the Wellington Arch, where a bearded chap shrugged off suggestions that we missed a turn and said he was heading "somewhere up towards the A4". Not sure where exactly he was thinking, but night riding on the M4 is only something that testers do, to my mind...Either way, a lot of people seemed to have decided to follow him - perhaps the idea of someone with a resolute sense of purpose was more alluring that the teeny, tiny white triangles that passed as route signs.

Anyway, having decided that we didn't want a scenic detour via Heathrow, we went our own way over Chelsea Bridge and met back up with the official route. Back on the 'purple line' (Garmin owners will know what I'm talking about), the GPS chirruped with satisfaction and we made our way down the ridiculously traffic-laden route through Richmond and towards the first feed. I'd actually ridden out to Richmond earlier in the day and it was no less busy - except at this time of night there were a lot more cars wafting smoke trails of wacky backy. Finally the roads decongested as we got towards Pearson, and the welcome sight of friendly shop staff hading out coffee and flapjacks was an oasis in the suburbian desert.

The further out we got, the further apart the street-lights became, and slowly we rode into our own headlight bubbles - focusing on avoiding potholes and spotting urban foxes out on the prowl. The conversation became muted, and I began to sing. I had deliberately been listing to catchy songs on Saturday night as I knew that the ear-worms would be well and truely embedded. What I hadn't wagered on were those ear-worms transmogrifying into 'Saturday Night' by Whigfield and Bohemian Rhapsody. Shame.

(Chasing shadows through the night - those handlebar streamers really do look like you're being chased by two flamboyant squid. Or at least they do at a certain time on a Sunday morning)

The second feed stop had real potential - an 'Italian Deli' and coffee shop. Thoughts of freshly ground espresso and Mortadella ham kept us spinning into the night. Instead we got 'sausage' roll (soggy, with a filling that tasted like the sausage had been pre-chewed - mother bird style) and tea so hot that dragons wouldn't touch it. Disappointed we rode on into the darkness, looking forward to a proper chow and perhaps a hot toddy to warm our by-now-frozen cockles. After riding what seemed like an eternity (but was actually more like 17 miles), we arrived at the bottom of a large gravel driveway - at the top of which we could see some folk milling around. Assuming this was the right place, we ventured up - hoping not to be shot at for trespassing (although I think lyrca-clad cyclists would probably be the least intimidating of burglers).

(Night-time, bright lights, motion, lack of concentration: Ideal photography conditions)

It was here that we discovered the joy of mass-produced pre-frozen food. Fortunately we were some of the earlier riders, so we could at least eat under the shelter of the open barn - the organisers had optimistically set up a series of picnic tables. For reference, here is a picture of slightly later in the ride, indicating the kind of temperature it was:

(This will never, ever, stop being funny - we spent time during university doing whole streets of cars like this. Time well spent, I say)

So perhaps the food wasn't up to scratch (and certainly not in line with the tales of "goulash and wine" pedalled by the organiser) - but at least we all gained an understanding of what it's like to live in an old people's home...

Riding back on the home-bound leg through Thope, we came across a group of riders heading in the opposite direction - they asked us where the vineyard was, and if it was far away. Not wanting to dishearten them, we held off asking why they were heading the wrong way around the route at 5.30am and simply pointed them back up the road...poor buggers.

We missed the third feed through Sunbury as it wasn't open yet - by all accounts we didn't miss much. Getting closer to London we got back onto street-lit roads and with the scent of oiled-up podium girls tantilisingly close, we pushed on through Hampton Court and Clapham, over the final 'hilly' 15 miles and back to the start/finish park.

Sadly, we made it back too early, and the only welcoming party was a bored looking security guard who's presence made the lack of scantily clad women even more keenly felt. Still, probably a good thing as anyone hanging around in a bikini that day would probably have had to accessorise with a tin-foil blanket. And anyway, who needs the opposite sex when the Thames Barrier looks like this:

(*Answer: I do!)

*By the time I had finally ridden home I was running low on sugar and couldn't feel many of my extremities. Wearing shorts and leg-warmers, I also had a nice band of itchy-red skin around the tops of my thighs where the warmers stopped and there was only a single layer of lyrca to cover it. Chilblains, beans on toast and bed was the order of the rest of the day - plus a sense of smug satisfaction after completing my first fixed century and first night ride.

*Chasing the dawn through South London

[ame]http://connect.garmin.com/activity/237815619[/ame]
*

6 Attachments

^ excellent and accurate write up. You should write a blog.....

Thanks - you sound familiar :)

^ Let's just say I feature in one of the photos in your post (And, no, I am not in the cock and balls picture...)

haha great write up brain stew, made me laugh a lot but the pictures didnt work for me! :-(

haha great write up brain stew, made me laugh a lot but the pictures didnt work for me! :-(

Cheers :) I'd linked the photos from FB which might be why they didn't work. Now uploaded them to the post itself so you should be able to admire my crappy night-time camera work in all it's glory!

More writing about my cycling exploits here, if you're interested

Brilliant write-up Brain-Stew!
There appears to be a shit-storm on Facebook, but this is my account:

I met my buddy at Look Mum No Hands for a pie before heading to a house party in Victoria Park where coke was consumed, cola by us, 'caine by unnamed party go-ers. (It's an East Lon house party after all!)
First time in the Greenwich Foot Tunnel, it felt like I was going into a rip in the space-time-continuum.
We also got there on time (late) and faced the sign-up scrum also. I estimate maybe 1240am start for us. Kinda glad I didn't hook up with you guys, as you would have left me for dust!

We set off, it was cold, my bottom half wasn't prepared for how F-U-C-K-I-N-G cold it was. I can however recommend the Rapha Pro-team jersey!

When the stream of blinky lights went up Constitution Hill, I knew they were off course so my cycle-buddy, armed with local knowledge took us through 'the poshness', over the Albert Bridge, and a far nicer sections along the river which included avoiding York Road, hitting Putney Bridge Road and Lower Richmond Road.

Pearson's came all too sudden, but was a welcome stop for cake, coffee and loo. Luckily we got there when we did as it wasn't too queue-ey.
We too were on the ear-worm trail, my cycle buddy lifting my spirits with baritone versions of some mezzo-soprano songs.

Second stop, I was mega-cold. Agreed that tea was pretty much thermo-nuclear hot and "mother-bird" - haha so accurate. I was thinking more that they baked the pastry and then injection-piped the "meat" into it, it was that consistency.
Where the fuck was the espresso? Once again, glad we got there when we did, as when we left, the queue was down the road.
The advice to stop for no more than 5 mins was impossible, food queue and 1 loo - not our fault.

The next bit is just riding, cold, riding, darness, shit signage. Reflective signs would have been good. I think I missed EVERY ONE. Cycle-buddy & 2 iPhones were my saviour.
We missed the arrow for the Vineyard (was it there?) and so went past Twyford, but realised not too far off track, and turned back.
At the Vineyard, HEATERS would not have gone astray. Genius-guys were sitting on the bonnet of the van which was idling. I ate for the sake of eating, there was no enjoyment what so ever in the pre-packed frozen meals. I have no idea what time it was when we left.

More riding, and we reached the lake just at about sunrise. No food?! WTF? Was there at least a coffee option? I gelled up and at least there was space inside to warm up a bit.
It was lovely to cycle in the morning, dodging the road-kill. Badgers, birds, squirrel.
So to make up for no food at the lake, we rolled past that Krispy Kreme, and oh fucking yes we stopped. "Hello Mr Chocolate-icing-filled-with-vanilla-custard. I will destroy you".

As we were coming out, we saw some of 'us'. I yelled "Carry on. You didn't see anything. THIS NEVER HAPPENED!"

SS on the hills, fuck. Did take some pleasure in going past some dudes stopped with their carbon on the second hill.

A few too many chain-tensioner-fucking-up stops and eventually fixed, we made it back to the finish for stamps. I have no idea what time it was, but maybe 11am (too many chain tensioner stops!)? No one was really about, understandably. Just the photo guy and some stampy chicks. No bikinis 'fraid.
"Who needs the opposite sex when the Thames Barrier looks like this?" Yeah, the photo guy didn't do it for me either.

We also went up to see the Thames Barrier, cycle-buddy demolished a Belgium bun and we listened to another crew talking about getting cabs to New Cross (really?) and we cycled via the river path to North Greenwich to get the clipper home-ish.

I hardened the fuck up and did my normal commute home, up Constitution Hill, that ain't no fucking hill in comparison to those we climbed.

There was way too much carbon-geared people, so yes agree with the smug satisfaction about my first SS century and first night ride.

Was I disappointed in the food? Massively. Did I want espresso? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably, if they sorted out the issues.

"Hello Mr Chocolate-icing-filled-with-vanilla-custard. I will destroy you".

Haha! Where was that Krispy Kreme? Totally missed that on the way back - would have been a feck of a lot tastier than the plastic energy food I had for emergency porpoises

Just cracked up laughing at the guy threatening to sue on FB. Cripes! Not a happy bunny! Leant my mate the Daccordi to do this on and she said that, yes, there were issues with signage, and yes, it was cold and the food wasn't amazing, but all in all it was ace...

Can't believe he wants to sue for a measley £45. Will be watching that one all night!

The FB thing is turning into the best meme opportunity ever!

Haha! Where was that Krispy Kreme? Totally missed that on the way back - would have been a feck of a lot tastier than the plastic energy food I had for emergency porpoises

According to iPhone: 197 Burlington Road, New Malden, KT3 4NA
Easily missed from the way we came, more obvious coming the other way...the view as we doubled back after some over the shoulder yelling of "shall we?" "wanna?!" "oh fuck-it, yes"
:)

2 Attachments

I did it - my first ever 'organised' ride...Was a lot of fun if not without it's fuck ups (see review on the even FB page).

So was it fun because it was interesting and well organised, because the food was good, because it was a good destination and a good route OR was it good because it's just fucking awesome to ride bikes with your mates, and riding through the night feels epic? Was it fun because they made it fun, or because you were doing a fun thing which they charged you £45 to do?

I'm not hating, I'm just saying if you find a nice route, pack well for the night and bring some good friends you can blow an organised ride out of the water

This was the first night ride I've done - so it's hard to say what difference the 'organised' side of things made.

I think if that the organisers had delivered all the things they pitched in the sale, then it would have been doubly-awesome (fresh croissants, espresso, gourmet food etc). As it was, I think if I hadn't paid cash then I wouldn't have showed up given how bloody cold the weather got. It was nice to know that there was food ahead, that in theory there was a support network in case of any trouble, and the idea of getting a bottle of wine to commemorate was good too.

So...in summary, I enjoyed it despite the poor organisation (i.e. any night ride would be a truckload of awesome), and if it had been as good as it was billed then it probably would have been one of the best cycle events I'd ever attended

I'm glad it was good B-S, and those kind of things (posh eats, gifts, stamps etc) can really add loads to a ride. I'm just wary of hustlers in general I guess...

So was it fun because it was interesting and well organised, because the food was good, because it was a good destination and a good route OR was it good because it's just fucking awesome to ride bikes with your mates, and riding through the night feels epic? Was it fun because they made it fun, or because you were doing a fun thing which they charged you £45 to do?

I'm not hating, I'm just saying if you find a nice route, pack well for the night and bring some good friends you can blow an organised ride out of the water

The first one. Because the organisation was on the same level as Dunkirk.