From a scooter perspective...

Nasa?

i wonder if you could get a Ti micro scooter with a CK headset, mini-spok's and strong v's

What i hate about scooterists is they think are valentino rossi maxing it around a city circuit, but even on full throttle you can be easily outrun by a KFC chicken thats never seen the light of day.

Your vehicle sounds like it barely has the power of two wasps, but i'm sure under your helmet you are making big bike noises to try and masculate youself. Have an occasional glance at your reflection as you pass a shop window however and your manhood will shrivel like you've just jumped into the arctic sea, you look like mildred pushing a granny trolley up the post office counter, even more so when adoting the full aero tuck for that extra 0.5kph.

As has been stated already about the gutter being full of broken class, raised drain covers and tramps, avoiding it also always buys an few extra seconds of reaction time to avoid suicidal lemming peds who are being hypnotised by their phones into ignoring their fully functioning neck and throwing themselves out into the traffic every minute of every day.

Lets all share the lane and all go home happy, though of course you'll be late due to those pesky cylists mwahahaha.

Your vehicle sounds like it barely has the power of two wasps
You do know what vespa means, right?

***VESPA ***

1
cap: the type genus of Vespidae including various hornets and yellow jackets

2
-s: any insect of the genus Vespa

wow you live and learn !

^^haha, no but i just checked and seems i was exaggerating, the power of one wasp not two.

... and often sounds like " various hornets and yellow jackets "

Well, that was well worth setting up an account for. I don't think I have ever laughed so long or so hard.

I don't know, OOL was miles better. Still the gold standard for trolling.

Damn it, Hippy's already done the German raver reference.

Doot doot doot da da doot doot doot..
Da doot doot doot da da doot doot doot!

A boy on a Vespa lol

Another hilarious thread of jokes and hate. I thought most points were fair tbh, other than the bus lane. And fair play on riding a scooter, i'm not lazy enough to ride one myself.

Scooter - Endless Summer / Hyper Hyper [19-20/21] - YouTube

Oh god, people actually listen to this shit?
God help us all.

They play it when they've temporarily lost their hearing and they need some physical stimulation.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gbKOnmIN0Tg

In fact more than that.

As a cyclist in London I'd like to give my opinion about scooterists in London. They are a bunch of twats who ride like idiots. That is why i tell them to "p off" and "f off".

Happy to help.

This.

Have an occasional glance at your reflection as you pass a shop window

We all do this, don't we???

I need a big fucking shop

I need a big fucking shop

You exercise regularly, you can't be that fat!

Have you never been to fat camp? Every Wednesday, N16.

Eh? Mopeds are allowed in the bus lane?

I'm pretty sure the law says otherwise.

^ In London the law change on the 23rd of January after two "successful" trials. More info here

Vespaboy: Are you a fixed gear(or other) cyclist yourself?
Remember if not, this is a cyclist forum.

Only in bus lanes on Red Routes I think.

I always thought they could do it anyway... With the amount that do i wouldnt have questioned a scooter/motorbike in a bus lane

But this threads even funnier knowing that they werent allowed

Read the blue signs. Seriously, if you ride on the road you should learn this stuff.

Some red routes they aren't allowed (e.g that bit by Liverpool St station) and some local authority-controlled roads (e.g. most of Westminster) that they are.

And then for the majority of bus lanes there are several hours in a day when they are not bus lanes at all and anything can drive in them.