Route Waterloo - South Woodford

Well today was epically shit.

I had my brakes serviced on Wednesday last week, the chain was fine before that, but after I got the service it seemed clunky, anyway, I was planning to take it back to them when I got home to get it looked at.

Unfortunately I didn't make it.

I left at 3:30pm from South Woodford, up Hermon Hill, a bit blowy and I wondered if I was going slower than last week if it was just because it was uphill.

I made it passed Snaresbrook station going up the hill, and my chain snapped.

Fuck. Not had that happen before.

So I pushed my bike up Hollybush Hill to the Green Man, push it round the roundabout, I wait till there's no-one in the left-turn lane before crossing the sliproad for the A12, but some arsehole in the wrong lane and not signalling beeps his horn at me, so I shout abuse at him, doubt he can hear me though.

Made it to Leytonstone, met a lady at the lights on a folding bike, asked her if she knew where there was a bike shop. 'I'll show you', she said. 'Er, my chain's snapped'. So she explained, just by Wanstead station. Called them up, yep we can sort that.

Scooted along there, got the bike in, they said 'look this chain is worn, see here's the wear tool'. I said 'I did ask them to check it in the other bike shop, but it seems they don't like to replace things till they are completely worn out'. 'Well it might be a good idea on a bike that gets as much load as this one does', he said. Anyway, he fitted a new link, £5, bike fine, slightly jumpy, but now an hour late.

Decide I can't make it to Waterloo before the 4:45-7 pm cycle blackout, so I tell my GPS to take me home.

I call my wife at work 'you need to pick the kids up'. She ain't impressed, but tough.

Satnav takes me on the A106 (Grove Green Road/Ruckholt Road/Victoria Park Road). It's even worse than I remembered, next to the thundering A12, I take primary mostly to stop the people trying to get past, and I pass the same coach several times at lights.

Turn up Victoria Park Road, decide that I will use the cycle lane, as there are, unusually no cars parked inside it, and it would be polite to let the car behind past, rather than blocking him, especially as it's uphill and my bike weighs 25kg.

Streetview here:
https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=e18+1rh&hl=en&ll=51.544614,-0.033538&spn=0.012757,0.026157&sll=52.8382,-2.327815&sspn=12.706523,26.784668&hnear=London+E18+1RH,+United+Kingdom&t=m&z=16&layer=c&cbll=51.544537,-0.033622&panoid=noT9-tIJbFWk25lKjsugRw&cbp=12,218.98,,0,6.05

Unfortunately if you follow the streetview you'll see the cycle lane lasts about 50 yards, and just as it is petering out the coach overtakes me and by the time it's completed its overtake the cycle lane is gone and it's just inches from me. Not fun.

Realise that I'm heading towards Bishopsgate, so might as well try my luck at Waterloo.

Journey from there, not bad, although there's a man wearing what appear to be swimming trunks who keeps jumping lights and at one of the lights fails to get off cleanly, and as I'm behind him I have to abort with a taxi up my backside.

Head into Waterloo station and approach the staff member near platform 12. Just as I do some arsehole comes past and says 'get your fucking bike out of the way'. His mate follows this by slamming it into me. I tell him he's going to get arrested if he carries on, but he doesn't seem very worried.

Woman tells me you can't get on, ask over there. So I ask over there, they say you can't get on, I'll get a leaflet. I don't need a leaflet, I just want to get home, after 7pm they say. So can I get a refund? '£10 charge' (the ticket cost £10.) So is there anywhere I can go? They say I can go to Basingstoke. 'So if I buy an extra ticket to Basingstoke I can go home?' They say yes but don't seem sure, and when I ask where to buy the ticket, it's in the ticket office with a mile long queue.

So I buy something from Costa Fuckingfortune, and drink it while trying to buy a ticket on my phone, but fail, and decide I can't be arsed to hang around till 10 past 7, or queue in the ticket office for some odd ticket (Farncombe) for a train that will probably have left by the time I've got the ticket and I'll just get going.

So I head over Westminster Bridge, down the Kings Road, over Putney Bridge, Lower Richmond Road, then make the error of turning up Roehampton Lane (satnav gone flat). That was stupid, it's all uphill and leads onto the A3.

Nevermind.

I stop at petrol station and buy two Mountain Dews for £2, and drink both. Polish bloke driving a Europcar van approaches me, looks at my tyres and asks if I have a pump. I do. Apparently he's got a bike in his van. He's not gone very long, considering what a shit pump it is, I'd be surprised if he got 20psi out of it. Anyway.

Go hell-for-leather down the A3, I find it a bit scary, and have to cut across two lanes of traffic to turn right towards Kingston.

Safely navigated, I keep going, I'm heading towards Surbiton station, i can't be bothered to cycle all the way home, especially as I already have a ticket. Suddenly I realise, I've lost my glasses (prescription Oakleys). I wonder if I left them in the petrol station when I was helping the Polish bloke. Or maybe they fell out on the A3. Anyway, I cycle back, on the pavement, headlight pointing in the cycle lane. I find them only 1/4 of a mile or so down the hill. Hurray.

Make it to Surbiton, haul the bike up 36 steps and then down 28 steps to the platform.

Having done this I'm told that there are signal problems in the Surbiton area. Wait there for half-an-hour while they say this. Drink beer (always come prepared). Then they announce that the train on platform 2 is now going the opposite direction. I ask the man on the platform how long before it goes, as I don't want to be hauling my bike onto the wrong platform and then miss the train. 'You'd better hurry' So bike goes up 28 steps, then down 28 steps.

I make it. Yay. Only took five-and-a-half hours.