Football

King Kinky's 7 signings, 18months on:

Andy Carroll 35m - good enough to leave for West Ham on loan -** We had a punt it didn't come off we lose 15mn**

Charlie Adam 7.5m - sold for 5m makeweight for a season for 2.5mn shouldn't have played as much as hje did but lucas got injured

Jordan Henderson 16m - 2 leagues games so far this season - unused sub for both - **Crap buy I admit it he doesn't look all that **

Sebastian Coates 7m - 5 starts in 12 months - Played vs City and bossed Tevez and Ballotelli a future first team player and back up to our CB pairing of Skrtel and Agger young and will come good

Stewart Downing 20m - so impressive on the wing (no goals, no assists) has been asked to try out at left-back - We'll get 10mn eventually from someone for him back up to Jose

Jose Enrique 6m - so impressive at left-back his place is now under pressure from Stewart Downing - Injured for the start of the season will regain his position in the team at left back once fully fit, and he's a decent player best of Kenny Comolis's signings

Luis Suarez 22.7m - 16 goals in 46 games, suspended for 8 of those for incident which precipitated his manager getting the boot. All-round cunt who has succeeded in turning his club into the Millwall of 2012.

23 goals in 56 appearances get your facts right son ... which is close to 1 in 2 similar strike rate to torres before he went shit

They still sing his name, don't they?

ftfy