• When I was first arrested, the thought of spending many hours in a cell with nothing to do but ponder my fate and impending bollocking from my mother once released, if I ever was, proved too much, so I asked for any reading material to pass the time of day and night. The cops rustled up a stack of Readers Digests. Never read it before or since, but I read those puppies from cover to cover, word for drab word.

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