"Oh Shit" moments...

I thought I'd take advantage of a day off work and head out into Essex - I'm in Stratford - on the road bike.

Towards the end of the ride - cut short because traffic was shit - a Golf overtakes just as we approach a traffic island, he realises his error and swerves towards me to avoid it. I was left with about three inches between my wheel and the kerb and his wing mirror drifting in front of my right elbow. I shout 'fucking hell, move you cunt' into his open passenger window, hoping to not die. I was terrified for five seconds or so, until we passed the traffic island and he speeded up.

He stops hard and jumps out. He's screaming about something and holding what looks like a small wooden bat. I roll past him in the other lane.

As I assume he's now going to chase me I ride up on the empty pavement and slow down. He pulls alongside, up a drive, and cuts me off. I dismount and ask him politely through the passenger window 'what the fuck are you doing mate?', he responds, explaining he was upset at my swearing and was rather intent on murdering me for it. In hindsight, the level of profanity in his explanation was somewhat ironic.

I apologise, and explain it was only a result of him nearly killing me. His tone changes and he claims he did no such thing, I explain in detail what happened from my perspective and why it's so dangerous to overtake a cyclist with an obstruction ahead. It was very civil.

He kindly accepts my apology and pulls the 'bat' up from the lap of the blonde sitting in the passenger seat. It's a brown leather knife sheath about a foot long, he takes out a hunting knife and leans over pointing it at me. He says that under the circumstances he will ignore what I had said, but on any other day he'd of 'cut me into little fucking pieces pal'.

He leans back, reverses out and drives off.

Nice chap.

To the cop shop with you, now. It's an offence just to have something like that, let alone threaten someone with it.