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@TheorySwine
At le dole earlier, in between copping free interview techniques from an adviser troubled by my wandering eye, my head bobbing to and fro like a nodding dog, looking at nothing in particular while she talked of I know not what, we decided to use her computer for something other than their usual purpose.
Normally they're used for nothing but fiddling their infernal database - 'Rip-Off version 3' I think it is. She was visibly cheered to find she'd have to use Google, so expanding her horizons. I suggested I use her computer to access my email, to save her the trouble of unnecessary searching. This is not allowed, for only advisers can use the computers. Reason? They all belong to Her Majesty.
No joke. Claimants are off-limits - presumably advisers have special dispensation, or maybe the Queen is creaming in more JSA than I am, and is rightly concerned the embittered realise this fact and become mutinous. Swans and all Social-Security computers. Leave something for the rest of us, ma'am.